


Rule the World

by NotAPrettyLady



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Angst, Blood, Canon Era, F/M, Fatherhood, Fluff, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Fic, M/M, Mpreg, Romance, Unrequited Love, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2020-01-04 07:03:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 33,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18338576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotAPrettyLady/pseuds/NotAPrettyLady
Summary: Perhaps to Arthur it didn't mean anything, but to Merlin it meant everything. When Camelot was once again targeted, this time with the intention to destroy the Pendragon legacy once and for all, fate would align and destiny intertwined ferociously. Arthur believed it was a curse but Merlin considered it as a blessing.





	1. Shut up, Merlin

**Author's Note:**

> I'm baaack into the fandom! :D
> 
> Unbeta'd. Canon era. Set in the beginning of Season 4. 
> 
> Title inspired by Take That's song - Rule the World.

“ _Merlin_ …” One simple word, a gasp filled with lust.  

The feeling of his prince shuddering on top of him, spilling his warm seed inside him was more than enough to trigger Merlin’s own orgasm. His body arched off the bed as he came, moaning Arthur’s name, sweet and low. 

Exhausted, Arthur flopped onto the bed next to Merlin. “That…That was…” 

“Amazing? Brilliantly conducted?” Merlin quipped breathlessly. Just like Arthur, his entire body was saturated with sweat and ropes of cum. “A very good game?” 

“Shut up, Merlin.” Arthur reprimanded but he couldn’t hide the pleased smile plastered on his face.   

“I simply can’t, sire.” There was a hint of mischievous in Merlin’s tone. “You still haven’t successfully fucked my brains out, hence, my mouth is still working perfectly.” 

“ _Mer_ lin.” Arthur groaned, glaring at Merlin who simply chuckled. The naivety Merlin usually wore was all gone. His manservant looked truly _debauched_. His dark hair was a mess, his skin was glistening with sweat, there a few marks spattered all over his pale body; the ones at his neck stood out the most, and of course the evidence of their sensual time, pearly white, stark on Merlin’s abdomen. 

 _He_ did that to Merlin. It was all because of _him_.

An unprompted grumble left Arthur’s lips when he felt Merlin move away. He threw another glare at the man. He had already planned for more and yet Merlin was pulling on his breeches. “Where are you going?” 

Not only Merlin didn’t look apologetic, the idiot even had the decency to roll his eyes in return. “To my chambers, Arthur. It’s almost dawn.” 

“Stay…” Arthur said softly. “My bed is much nicer and warmer than that thick log of yours.” 

“But—”

“ _Come on_ , _Mer_ lin.” Arthur patted the empty side of the bed as an invitation. 

Merlin huffed, crawling back under the covers. Just before he succumbed into a deep sleep, he felt Arthur’s arms wrap around him, holding him tightly.

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

“Where the hell are my boots?!” Arthur roared, his wild eyes scanning his entire chambers. 

“They are where you left them last night.” Merlin nonchalantly fluffing up the prince’s pillows as he made the bed, not even looking at the infuriated Arthur. 

“Merlin!” Arthur roared again, annoyed for being ignored. 

“You have it on your foot.” Merlin’s index finger was pointing accusingly at Arthur’s legs. 

“The _other_ boots, Merlin!” Arthur huffed. 

“Ah.” The reply was simple, but it was enough to irritate the young prince even more. 

Arthur narrowed his eyes. “That’s it? That’s all you have to say?!” 

“I have no idea where your other boots had wandered off to.” Merlin remained unperturbed. “But I can get you another pair if you want?” 

“I don’t _want_ another pair! I just need _this_ pair, the left one!” Arthur flung the boots at Merlin, hitting the man square on the chest. “So _where_ is it?”

“Stop being a prat and perhaps it might walk its way back to you!” Merlin picked up the boots and tossed it back at Arthur.   

“ _Merlin_!” Arthur barked, catching the offending item easily with one hand and wanted nothing more than strangling his idiot manservant. Despite their stolen moments at nights, life went on as normal. They still bantered with one another constantly. Merlin would always annoy him and in return, he would yell till the man got moving. His manservant had never failed telling him that he was a prat and of course he would retaliate by calling Merlin an idiot. 

Because it was the truth.

Merlin _was_ an idiot.   

How did he manage to stand Merlin all this time was beyond him, really. 

“Since you don’t want a new pair of boots, you can just walk barefoot then.” Merlin offered an unhelpful suggestion with a grin. “Feel what us peasants feel every day. Perhaps it’ll reduce your ego. You’re after all an over-privileged, entitled, spoilt brat.” 

“Oh, is that so?” Arthur stalked toward Merlin, eyes determined.

  **~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**  

“You’re late.” Uther commented the moment Arthur stumbled into the throne room. 

“I apologize, father. I uh…uhm…” Arthur cleared his throat. “There was an urgent matter that needed my attention. It’s all settled now.”

Uther observed his son with a frown on his face. “This has happened quite a lot lately.”

Arthur tried not to fidget under the king’s watchful gaze. His father didn’t look content with his answer, and neither did Geoffrey of Monmouth and two of his father’s most trusted council members. He knew his appearance wasn’t helping either. His hair was disheveled, and he was pretty sure his face was still flushed. His throat was actually a bit sore, and his knees hurt. Stupid Merlin.  

Leon however, was grinning, undoubtedly knew the _real_ reason of his lateness. 

Leon of all people had caught him and Merlin in a very racy act by accident just weeks prior. It was his own fault, truly. He was feeling brazen that fateful night, just a little after midnight, when he pushed Merlin to the alcove and kissed the man senseless. Too engrossed in their own lust, none of them had even noticed they had accompany, only realizing so when Leon cleared his throat, _loudly_. 

And that was the infamous tale on how Leon found out about them, making the knight the only other living soul who knew.

Well, he guessed Gaius knew as well considering Merlin couldn’t keep his mouth shut. 

“Is there something you want to share with me?” Uther prodded. 

“No, father.” Arthur shook his head, far too fervent to Leon’s liking. 

“You’re the Crown Prince of Camelot, Arthur. Your presence is needed for every discussion held in this room.” Uther finally sighed, seemingly not in the mood to interrogate Arthur. “Discipline is important. You should show a good example to others. I can’t have my own son, my sole heir behaving like this.” 

“It won’t happen again.” Arthur affirmed awkwardly by the door.

“See to it.” Uther effortlessly dismissed the issue.

“Yes, my Lord.” Arthur answered dutifully.


	2. Can’t rule with just your head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.
> 
> Hello! ;)

“Does this mean you’re no longer prince regent, then?” Merlin put down Arthur’s breakfast on the table. “Now that your father is better and has taken back his throne?”

“I guess.” Arthur shrugged, picking up a sausage from the tray. 

“How are you feeling?” Merlin asked and immediately felt perplexed when Arthur seemed surprised with his question. “What?”

Arthur shrugged again. “You’re the only person that I know that wants to know about my _feelings_.”

The tips of Merlin’s ears reddened. Though the prat might not notice but he _did_ care about Arthur and it was a genuine feeling. The last few months had been challenging. With Morgana’s betrayal and Uther’s ailment, Camelot needed a leader and Uther was incapable of doing so at that time, too hurt by his own daughter’s treachery. Arthur had no choice but to fill in the king’s position as prince regent.

In that short amount of time Camelot had prosper under Arthur’s ruling.

Merlin poured a drink for Arthur. “Because it’s important, Arthur. You can’t rule with just your head. Your heart must be in it too. And you had done a great job as prince regent. The people love you.”  

At first Arthur appeared moved by Merlin’s statement but then his expression changed. “You’re such a _girl_ , Merlin.”

The thought about pouring the water on Arthur’s head immediately crossed Merlin’s mind, let him soak like a drenched rat from head to toe. Arthur would certainly be late to train his knight which in turn would displeased Uther. Seeing the king reprimand Arthur would be glorious but then _he_ would be the one who had to wash the prat’s wet tunic which was something he wasn’t looking forward to. “There is no way of pleasing you, is there?”

Arthur laughed, so freely and happily it made Merlin’s heart give a swift swoop. “Aw, did I offend your _feelings_?”

Merlin huffed, more annoyed than offended. “You’re an ass.”

Arthur chuckled, biting down the last slice of cheese. “To answer your question, _Mer_ lin, I feel fine. Better than ever actually. Regardless of what had happened, I’m glad things are better now. On top of that, my father is alive and well, that is all I ask.”

“That’s good to hear.” Merlin moved to pick up the empty breakfast tray.   

“Now…you were talking about _pleasing_ me?” Arthur swiftly got up from his seat, trapping Merlin between himself and the table. “There is _a lot_ of ways to please me, _Mer_ lin.”

“Arthur!” Merlin squeaked, which was something he wasn’t proud of. He would deny it if anybody ever asked about it. “Y-You are already late! The knights are…are waiting!”

“Let them wait.” Arthur nosed the back of Merlin’s neck. “I would rather inspect _your_ skills.”

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

“Ah there you are, princess.” Gwaine’s tone was downright bouncy. “You finally decided to grace us with your presence after all.”

“Good morning, Sire.” Leon greeted Arthur, far too joyfully than he normally did.

“Sir Gwaine, Sir Leon.” Arthur acknowledged with an eyeroll. 

“And good morning to you too, Merlin!” Percival quipped from the center of the training grounds as Merlin waddled in right behind Arthur. “Did someone having trouble getting up this morning after spending the whole night at the tavern?”

“What are you talking about?” Gwaine strolled toward Merlin and wrapped an arm around the dark-haired man’s shoulder. “I wasn’t there last night and Merlin wouldn’t go to the tavern without his best buddy.”

“True. I’d be useless without you.” Merlin nodded and laughed. He felt comfortable around Gwaine. Their adventures together had been very interesting and fun. There was nothing _not_ to like about Gwaine. Well, maybe his luscious hair could be a reason to dislike him but that was out of pure jealousy.

Arthur who was watching the exchange angrily putting on his gloves, mood instantly turned sour. “Alright, pair off! We are concentrating on counter-counting today! Gwaine, you’re with me! Merlin, you’ll be joining too! Try to keep up!”

“What?” Merlin’s eyes widened. Arthur rarely involved him when he was training his knights, only on certain occasions when he was frustrated. The knights were packed with muscle, great with swords, could easily kill the enemies with a couple of blows. He was _Merlin_ , a manservant with a lanky, scrawny physique. He didn’t belong in the training grounds. He must have looked pathetic because Percival and Elyan threw an identical pity looks at him.   

“You heard the prince!” Leon instructed everyone, yanking Gwaine away from Merlin.

“We better make sure your head is screwed on tight for your round with Arthur.” Lancelot was suddenly by Merlin’s side. He had a shield on his hand and a few other iron pieces.

“Why is that?” Merlin let himself being manhandled by Lancelot as the knight prepared him for the training.  

“Gwen’s here and you know how Arthur likes to show off.” Lancelot subtly motioned to Merlin’s right.   

Merlin immediately glanced at the bystander and easily spotted Gwen. He didn’t even know she was present but apparently Arthur _did_ notice. The prince was already approaching Gwen, smiling widely and it seemed his sudden, irrational anger had evaporated. The blinding smile said it all and nobody dared to comment anything.

The was no doubt the entire castle had known about Arthur and Gwen’s dalliance. How Uther had caught them, how Gwen was accused of sorcery and almost got killed. It was a big scandal after all for a crown prince to publicly involved with a maidservant. Nevertheless, after Morgana’s attack and Uther’s deteriorating health, Arthur had to focus on saving his kingdom and had pushed aside his feelings for Gwen. Arthur had been the capable regent prince his people deserved and the dutiful son for over a year and now that Uther was back on the throne, there was a possibility he might want to continue courting Gwen again.

No matter what he had shared with Arthur, how he was the one to pick Arthur up when the prince was broken in pieces, he had expected this to happen.

That Arthur would seek Gwen to be by his side once more.

The truth shouldn’t hurt like this. It shouldn’t hurt seeing them together.

But it did.

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

“Spent the night with Arthur again?” Gaius patented glare was undoubtedly judgmental.

“It’s not what you think.” Merlin froze at the door.

“That’s the same thing you told me months ago.” Gaius was still judging. “And all other times you had lied to me. Think again before you answer, boy.”

“Alright, yes…I _was_ with Arthur, but it’s not for the reason you think it is.” Merlin said in one breath. He was exhausted, he wanted to rest, and it was too early in the morning to be scolded. Gaius knew about him and Arthur. It wasn’t accidental at all and purely of his own negligence. After several nights coming home late or just before dawn or didn’t come home at all, Gaius had confronted him about it and he simply couldn’t lie anymore. 

It was hard to hide it from the old man that was rich with wisdom and equal amount of sarcasm.

“Arthur had been in such a mood all day yesterday and it continued all night long.” Merlin shared his misfortune. “I had to wash his clothes, polish his armors, make his bed, give him a bath and mop the floor. _Twice!_ ”

“What did you do?” Gaius raised an eyebrow, no sign of sympathy for Merlin and the calamity he had to go through for being the Crown Prince of Camelot’s manservant.

“What did _I_ do?!” Merlin’s voice raised an octave higher. “Why do you always assume that it was my fault?”

“Because it usually is, Merlin.” Gaius said collectedly.

Merlin scoffed, strolling to his room in exasperation. “You and Arthur are rather similar, you know? You sure you’re not his long-lost twin brother, Gaius?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please don't forget to comment! It'll definitely help me write and update faster! ;)
> 
> Also, do you prefer to see more of Merlin's friendship with Lancelot? Or with Gwaine? :D


	3. Do what you believe is right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.
> 
> Thanks so much for your support! :D

“I’ve been thinking…” Arthur slipped under the cover. He had fed, bathed, and he was beyond content.

“You, thinking?” Merlin fiddled with the bed cover, pulling it up to Arthur’s waist. “Well, now I’m really getting worried.”   

“Do I need to remind you who I am?” Arthur asked flatly. “Not that that seems to mean anything to you.” 

Merlin snickered, agreeing to Arthur’s statement without needing to say anything. “So, what is it that has been troubling that big head of yours?” 

Arthur hummed, wistfully, and it made Merlin anxious because it usually didn’t lead to something good. “I wanna court Guinevere again. Properly this time, no more hiding.”  

Merlin blinked, stunned. His clasp on the bedsheet involuntarily tightened, wrinkling the once smooth fabric. Memories of Gwen and Arthur onslaught his mind like a tidal wave. The way they shared a private smile, the love he saw in Gwen’s eyes, the perseverance Arthur had for her. He had been there to witness every single thing that happened between the couple. He was the one who had stolen food from the castle kitchen so that Arthur could impress Gwen with his fake cooking skill. He had been the one to prepare everything needed when Arthur wanted to take Gwen for a picnic. 

Gwen was a friend, a lovely lady, a nice person, someone who was true to herself and to others, and someone who deserved to be happy. He had absolutely nothing against her. 

He couldn’t pinpoint exactly when _he_ had fallen for Arthur, so he couldn’t blame her either for falling for Arthur in the first place. 

Therefore, he had no right to feel hurt or betrayed by Arthur's recurring affections. 

The couple did share a chaste kiss before Arthur and his knights conquered Camelot again. 

Then the memories of Gwen and Arthur changed to images of him splayed on Arthur’s bed, naked and sweating and writhing beneath the prince. His mind betraying him and his heart and his soul even further. He recalled the times he had bruises all over his body from Arthur’s strong grip or the ones on his neck and chest from Arthur’s mouth, the evidences of their affairs night after night.

Sometimes he was sure Arthur shared his feelings, that Arthur was in love with him too, in those moments that the prince held him tight and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead before they fell into a post-coital bliss.   

“What about your father?” Merlin managed shakily as he smoothened Arthur’s sheet.

“There might be a bit resistance, but I don’t think Father would mind.” Arthur became contemplative once more. “He had accepted that I had knighted Lancelot, Gwaine, Elyan…and even Percival whom he never met before even though none of them have noble blood.” 

“It’s not the same, Arthur.” Merlin tried to remain collected despite the whirlwind of emotions inside him. “Accepting those who aren’t of noble blood into the knighthood is not the same as marrying one. I’m afraid your father will never agree to it. He had already broken the code once for our friends.” 

“The unfairness is abysmal.” Arthur flopped his head on the fluffy pillow, hassled. “Why can’t I show the world what Guinevere means to me? Why should I hide it? Because she’s a commoner and I’m of royal blood? I believe in equality more than anything. My father should see that too.” 

Merlin glanced at Arthur, intently perceiving the prince who seemed too distraught to be going to sleep.

“Then go for it, Arthur. Do what makes _you_ happy, do what _you_ believe is right. Don’t let others tell you otherwise, not even your father. Just know this…whatever you decide to do, I’ll be there to support you by your side as always.”

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

“More wine?” Arthur asked warmly.

“Yes, please.” Gwen happily answered. 

“Such a lovely morning, isn’t it?” Arthur chatted, splayed comfortably on the picnic mat as he poured the drink into Gwen’s goblet. 

Merlin closed his eyes, resting his back against the tree and tried to ignore the couple. He didn’t want to know what Gwen had replied to Arthur’s question or which of the food that _he_ had prepared had been chosen by Arthur for his lady. He picked on the grass, hoping to distract himself and wished he was somewhere else. Hitting the tavern with Gwaine even so early in the morning seemed like a brilliant idea compared to being there at that very moment. 

When Arthur had told him to prepare a basket of food earlier that morning he had naively thought the prince wanted to go for a hunt. That it would be just the two of them or perhaps with the company of Leon or Elyan. To say he was crushed was an understatement when it turned out Arthur had planned for a picnic with Gwen instead. 

And of course, as the prince’s manservant he was forced to come along.   

It hadn’t been a problem at all before, long time ago when he wasn’t aware of his feelings for Arthur, back when Gwen was still Morgana’s maidservant. Right here, right now, he felt as if he was slowly dying inside to witness Arthur’s affection for another. His heart had been cracking since the start of their journey. The horse ride had been dulled as Arthur continued talking with Gwen and disregarding him at the back. The longer they were there, the cracks in his heart had steadily gotten bigger and bigger and he wondered how long would it take before his fragile heart completely shattered.

“You’re the most beautiful person I have ever laid my eyes on, Guinevere.” Arthur wholeheartedly confessed, and Merlin’s head snapped back toward the couple. 

Merlin was far enough from the duo, out of their sight, hidden behind the trees, but he still could see them. The way that Arthur had leaned in and kissed Gwen was so careful, so restrained. The way Arthur acted around Gwen was so tender, so unlike the urgency and rabid need when he kissed him. 

And in that moment Merlin’s delicate heart finally and entirely shattered. 

He was not Arthur’s lover or his consort, let alone his husband.

He was merely Arthur’s servant and his outlet, not even his friend.  

He was whatever Arthur needed him to be. 

 **~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**  

“A-Arthur…” Merlin's breath came out heavy, wrapping his legs around Arthur’s waist more securely as Arthur moved his hands under his pert ass, pulling him up a little bit more. He let his head hit the wall with a loud thud, felt the sting when his back scratched the cold, rough stone wall as Arthur slammed in again, and again, and again. 

Arthur thrust with no finesse, no rhythm and just took what he needed. The friction of his manhood against Arthur’s sculpted abdomen made Merlin gasped for breath. His body quivered as he let himself lost in delicious lust. 

“I’m…close…” Arthur grunted and with a few more snapped of his hips he emptied himself inside of his euphoric manservant. His head fell forward onto Merlin’s shoulder, breathing erratically. “God, Merlin…” 

“Why are we still doing this?” Merlin suddenly blurted out.

Arthur raised his head, blearily gawping at Merlin. “Do what?” 

Merlin slowly loosened his legs from around the prince, lowering his feet to the ground and Arthur had no other choice but to let go of his hold on his manservant. His hands dropped limply at his sides as he stared questionably at Merlin. “ _This_ , Arthur. Whatever this is between us.”

“Have sex, you mean?” Arthur asked dumbly. “I’m a man, Merlin. I have…needs, especially after I spent the whole day with Guinevere.” 

“Why do we still having sex if you’re courting Gwen?” Merlin swallowed the lump in his throat as he began to dress. Having to spell it out for Arthur only made him melancholier. “You always talk about Gwen to me, how lovely she is, how you wanted her back and you’re even starting to pursue her…and yet you sleep with me instead.” 

“I can't exactly sleep with Guinevere while I court her, can I?” Arthur replied slowly, as if he was talking to a child. He had pulled on his breeches but his upper body remained shirtless. “It isn't proper at all.” 

“And sleeping with me is?” Merlin bit back. He shut his eyes against the flood of memories that wanted to undo him. 

“What is wrong with you? Why are you asking me this all of a sudden?” Arthur seemed livid by Merlin’s question. “I didn’t hear you protest before. What has brought this on? We were fine just moments ago.” 

Merlin bit his lower lip, trying his hardest not to break down in front of Arthur. He was angry with himself because he had fallen for someone who was out of his reach, angry at himself for wanting Arthur all for himself, angry at himself for believing he could have the life he wanted, angry at himself for thinking he meant _something_ to Arthur.

He was angrier at himself more than at Arthur for allowing himself to be used in such a way that made his heart heavy with pain. 

“I can’t do this anymore.” Merlin whispered. 

“Do what exactly?” Arthur frowned, seemingly at a complete loss. 

With tears welled in his eyes, Merlin forced himself to look at Arthur. “I can’t be by your side as your manservant by day and your bedwarmer by night. I just can’t anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you wanna see more of Gwen? :)
> 
> Kindly keep on commenting / tell me what do you wanna see next! My muse needs to be fed too y'know. ;)


	4. Already have a manservant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.
> 
> This is the fastest chapter I've ever written in all of the fandoms I've been in! :D

“Who are you?” Arthur asked groggily, brain still laden with sleep. He had thought the person was Merlin at first. His outfit kind of looked like what Merlin usually wore and was extremely disappointed when the man was indeed _wasn’t_ Merlin.

“The name’s George, Sire…at your service.” The man answered. “I’m your new manservant.” 

“My new manservant?” Arthur sat up straight with a deep frown, suddenly very much awake. Merlin wasn’t there to attend him, _again_. This was the second day in a row. “I already _have_ a manservant. Where’s Merlin?” 

“The boy is on leave, Sire.” George answered, still standing at the foot of the bed.  

“Without my permission?!” Arthur started to get angry.

“According to the Court Physician, the boy is unwell, my Lord.” George spoke with ease. 

“Merlin is ill?” Dread instantly settling in Arthur’s bones. Merlin had been fine the last time he saw him. Merlin had left his chambers that night looking absolutely dejected but he really had thought things would be better the next day. But then Merlin didn’t show up and he was served by a very young maidservant yesterday and today this man George was given to him. This wasn’t the first time Merlin didn’t come to work though normally he would only miss a day. 

“The King had been noted on this and he himself had assigned me to you until further notice. I was personally selected by him from among other servants.”  George stated proudly as he moved toward the dining table. “Now, if you would allow me, I would like to serve you breakfast, Prince Arthur.” 

Arthur ogled at the variety of food were on display on the dining table, enough for ten people at least. When it was Merlin who served him breakfast, the food was barely sufficient for one person nevertheless it was always enough for him. He would be full for the entire day and would only feel hungry again just in time for lunch. He had no doubt George was efficient in doing his job, same went to the maidservant before him but neither her nor George was the person he wanted to see in the morning. 

It had only been two days but Merlin’s absence was rather peculiar and disconcerting. 

“You’re dismissed.” Arthur ordered.

“But Sire—” George appeared flabbergasted. 

“Leave me.” Arthur ordered again with a firmer tone, causing George to hurriedly leave the room.

 **~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**  

“You’re awfully quiet.” Arthur was intently scrutinizing Merlin’s every move as he shuffled around the chambers to do his chores. He was tremendously happy Merlin was back after two days of missing work but the silence was killing him. He had hindered himself from saying anything when Merlin had stepped inside his chambers that morning and he was in rush anyway but now the day was almost over, he couldn’t stand the quietness any longer.   

“There are still a lot of things to be done, Sire.” Merlin said flatly. 

“Ah, yes.” Arthur bobbed his head in agreement. “Perhaps you should think twice before deciding to ditch work for days next time.” 

“Duly noted, my Lord.” Merlin’s response was just as flat as the previous one.

“Two whole days, that had got to be a new record for you.” Arthur went on, hoping to get a reaction from Merlin but his manservant didn’t answer. Merlin didn’t even look at him, still busying himself in doing his chores. 

“Are you still feeling unwell?” Arthur probed again. He sought to know what was going on with Merlin. He had gone to Gaius’ chambers for an answer, worried about Merlin but not only did Gaius had given him a vague answer, he wasn’t allowed to see Merlin either. 

More silence. 

“I always thought this silence would be a blessing with you but I’m missing your usual prattle.” Arthur truthfully admitted. He had never thought he would miss hearing Merlin’s voice, or seeing his smile, or even their daily bickering but there he was, hopeful and wanting. 

Merlin however kept quiet. 

“Merlin…” Arthur sighed, slowly strolling from behind his desk toward Merlin who was sitting at the dining table, polishing his armor.   

“I have sharpened your sword and polished your armor.” Merlin immediately stood up. “My errands are done for today. Is there anything else, Sire?” 

“Would you cut it out?” Arthur half-yelled, exasperated by the lack of reaction from the usually chatty Merlin. “What’s going on with you? Since _when_ you’re following proprietary? Formality? Why aren’t you address me with my given name? Since when I become _Sire_ and _my Lord_ , and not just Arthur?”

“Because you _are_ His Royal Highness Arthur Pendragon, Crown Prince of Camelot.” Merlin finally looked at him, eyes filled with hurt but fully determined nonetheless. 

“Merlin…” Arthur gently touched Merlin’s face but the dark-haired man flinch. Taken aback by Merlin’s reaction, he retrieved his hand back as if it had been burned. “Merlin?”

“Please don’t touch me.” Merlin stepped away from Arthur. 

“Are you still mad at me? For what I’d said nights ago?” Arthur’s brows creased. “Come on, _Mer_ lin…don’t be such a girl. I know Guinevere is your friend and you love her dearly but do you need to go all this way to protect her honor? Just because I'm sleeping with you, it doesn't mean I love Guinevere any less.” 

Merlin’s eyes flashed with anger but he didn’t utter a word and it made Arthur even more incensed. He didn’t understand what Merlin was trying to imply in the least. He wasn’t a mind reader. Merlin’s the one who had convinced him to pursue Guinevere so why he had appeared incredibly livid and distraught now? Was Merlin upset of the activities they had been doing behind Guinevere’s back? Did he think Guinevere deserve better? Did he regret agreeing to this all those months ago? Did he think he had tarnished his prince’s virtue? 

Why couldn’t Merlin see how much he loved Guinevere?

He did love her but he _needed_ Merlin in his life too.  

“What do you want me to say, Merlin?! I do love sex _especially_ with you! I truly enjoy your company day _and_ night, and you seem to relish our dalliances quite immensely too!” Arthur was full on yelling now. He didn’t care if the entire castle had heard him. Merlin was being difficult and he was severely frustrated by his servant’s behavior. If Merlin was anyone else, he would already be punished by now. “We both want unattached sex, didn’t we?! Or do you feel I’m using you?! Am I taking advantage of my position as the prince by having a sexual relationship with you?!” 

 **~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**  

“You’re one handsome bloke, Merlin!” Gwaine’s voice was loud and clear, sounding annoyingly like the warning bells to Arthur’s ears. His arms were slung casually over Merlin’s neck and to Arthur’s dismay, the taller man didn’t seem to mind it. Merlin didn’t flinch like when he was with him, he even _welcomed_ Gwaine’s touch.

“My Lord?” Leon gently approached.

“Hm?” Arthur hummed in acknowledgment but his gaze remained on the talkative duo sitting at the stone wall next to the training field, munching what seemed to be apples.  

“Those who fail to see that are total buffoons! Lucky for you, I _do_ notice.” Gwaine said cheekily as he traced Merlin’s face with his apple-unoccupied hand. “Your chiseled face is unique, do you know that? And these cheekbones of yours…” 

“Sire…” Leon uttered with caution as Arthur began to hit the training dummy with added force, rattling it dangerously from its place. 

“Your eyes are purely mesmerizing, Merls.” Gwaine’s hand traveled upward. “I would _kill_ to have a pair of these deep blue sea eyes like yours.”

“Oh my God, Gwaine! This is embarrassing and so ridiculous!” Merlin laughed, skin near his eyes crinkled in delight. He threw his half-eaten apple at Gwaine. “You’re a horrible person!” 

“I got you, didn’t I?” Gwaine wiggled his brows, causing Merlin to laugh harder.

Arthur instantaneously stopped his hitting, his sword dropped onto the wet grass. He felt a deep pang of guilt in his chest. Merlin had never seemed that happy when he was with him. His manservant appeared genuinely free and was really enjoying his time with Gwaine. Of all the times he and Merlin were together, whether during their daily duties or behind closed doors at night, he didn’t think he had ever complimented the man once. All he had ever done was praising Merlin on how gratified and mind-blowing the sex were, but _never_ admiring the man himself.

No wonder why Merlin always called him a prat. 

Realizing Arthur wasn’t even listening to him, Leon stepped in front of the Prince, blocking his view to get his attention. “The King is asking for your presence at the court, Sire. There’s an urgent matter to be discussed.”

Reluctantly taking his eyes off the happy pair, Arthur picked up his sword and put it back in his scabbard. “Let’s go, Sir Leon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? What did I tell ya? Due to your overwhelming and active feedback, my muse has been very productive! :D
> 
> You've seen Gwaine with Merlin, right? Lancelot is up next! Anything else you think I should add? ;)


	5. Let the feast begin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd
> 
> Thanks for still reading, everyone! :D

“Long live Prince Arthur of Camelot!” Uther declared joyfully as he raised his wine filled goblet. 

“Long live the prince!” The guests whooped just as excitedly, the knights being the loudest of them all. 

“Let the feast begin!” Arthur raised his own goblet in appreciation and drank the dark liquid in one ago, and the guests cheered once more. 

Truth be told, not only he didn’t want to be there, Arthur didn’t even _want_ a festivity on his name. His mother had died on the very same day over two decades ago given birth to him so pardon him if he wasn’t keen to have fun. Uther was chatting merrily with fellow noblemen but he knew his father had put up a front for his sake because there was no doubt his father dreaded this day too, a reminder of what he had lost. This year had also brought the cold hard truths that Morgana wasn’t a part of the royal family anymore and Merlin… 

Merlin wasn’t his confidante anymore. 

Six years as his manservant, Merlin would always be the first one to wish him a happy birthday, every year without fail. He would be woken up to Merlin’s cheery tone as he pulled the curtains and began to annoy him for the rest of the day. This year however he had woken up to a cold, dark chamber and so very alone. 

He tried not to dwell on it but the truth did hurt. 

 _A lot_. 

“More wine, Sire?” Merlin was suddenly by Arthur’s side, ready to serve. Nevertheless, there was no warmth nor delight in his tone. 

Arthur wanted to say no, that he shouldn’t be too drunk when he had to be present at a knighting ceremony early in the morning tomorrow. But as he glanced at Merlin and noticed the man’s stoic posture, he couldn’t make himself to care. He _would_ get himself drunk, consequences be damned. It was his birth anniversary, wasn’t’ it? “Keep it coming and make sure my goblet is never to be left empty.” 

“Understood, Sire.” Merlin dutifully poured more wine into the chalice to the fullest and left, and Arthur wanted to scream. Usually the words of proprietary would be spoken playfully as Merlin put up a pretense in front of Uther but not today. Merlin had been chatting joyously with Lancelot and Percival, smiling brightly before the occasion started. But when he was back at Arthur’s service, he had become indifferent, face unreadable. He had successfully transformed himself to be as dull as George. 

Arthur startled when a plate of food was placed in front of him. He looked up to see Merlin was standing beside him once more. “What’s this?” 

“Your favorite…” Merlin’s tone remained indifferent as he uncovered the plate. 

“Herb crusted capon.” Arthur was overwhelmed. 

“Happy Birthday, Sire.” Merlin wished, sounding genuine.

“Merl—” Arthur tried to reach for Merlin who had begun to walk away to stand with the other servants when a loud rumble erupted, shaking the entire banquet hall and his world abruptly went black. 

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

“Show yourself!” Arthur screamed, already unsheathed his sword. The sudden strong gust of wind had put out all the candles in the banquet hall, leaving everyone in the dark. Nonetheless, the prince’s loud, commanding voice had made the previously chaotic hall became eerily silent. 

“Show yourself, you _coward_!” Arthur shouted again, more forcefully as he defiantly stood in front of the king. Anyone who wanted to get to his father would have to get through him first. 

“Hello, dear _brother_.” A voice echoed in the pitched black, silent room.

“Morgana…” Arthur breathed and he could feel Uther became rigid behind him.  

The hall was lit with candles once again as Morgana strolled the room with confidence even though she was alone. She was diabolically smiling, overlooking at everyone in the room before she came to a stop in front of the Pendragons. “Uther, you look…well.”

Arthur remained in front of the shocked Uther, positive Morgana was targeting their father. Her vengeance was with him the most. It was a torturous moment in life when his father had become sheltered after what Morgana had done and it had taken quite a while for the king to bounce back after that. He wasn’t going to let that happen again. “What are you doing here, Morgana? What do you want?” 

“I come bearing gifts.” Morgana chuckled darkly. “It’s your birth anniversary after all.”

“I don’t want _anything_ from you.” Arthur said boldly. He quickly inspected the room and saw the terrified faces of his people. The knights were surrounding him and his father, protecting their prince and king but others were left defenseless. Guinevere was standing beside Lancelot, Gaius was next to Percival, but Merlin was far too close to Morgana for his liking. 

“I know there are a few people in this room that you cherished most, Arthur.” Morgana sneered, following Arthur’s gaze on Merlin. “As my gift to you, dear brother, I’ll allow you to save everyone. Everyone but _one_. Choose wisely.” 

“Whatever you’re planning to do, the people of Camelot do not deserve it!” Arthur growled, sword ready in hand. He would protect his people at all cost. He had resigned a long time ago that he would never get the old Morgana back. 

Morgana’s eyes glowed gold and Arthur steadily remained before Uther, prepared for the attack. She then grinned evilly, hand extended on someone to her right, totally abolished Arthur’s prediction. “Wrong choice.”

Arthur’s eyes widened and hurriedly leapt forward. “No! Merlin!” 

Arthur watched in horror as Morgana’s magic blasted, thrown the unexpected Merlin to the wall. Merlin’s head hit the stone with a loud crack before slumping down to the floor, pale and unmoving. He had almost reached Merlin when a force hit him hard on his chest and he screamed in pain, falling heavily to the ground. He heard his father’s angry roar, heard the commotion from the knights and he wanted to help but there was a weight on his chest that kept getting heavier and heavier and it was getting impossible for him to breathe. 

He took one last look at the motionless Merlin on the floor right next to him and let his eyes drifted shut. 

The pain stopped.

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

“Merlin!” Arthur stumbled in the hallway, earning confused and worried looks from the guards. 

“Sire!” Leon was fast chasing Arthur, shaking his head at the guards who looked at him expectantly not to interfere. “Sire, wait!” 

Arthur dashed toward the upper castle stairs and burst into Gaius’ quarter. “Merlin!” 

Gaius startled, almost dropping the vial he was holding. “Arthur? Why are you here? I’ve given specific instruction to Sir Leon not to let you out of bed.” 

Leon wheezed at the door. “I did try, Gaius.”

“W-Where’s Merlin? I wanna see Merlin.” Arthur stated blearily, his skin was glistening with sweat. 

“I don’t think this is the appropriate time, Sire. You’re still recovering yourself.” Gaius put a comforting hand on Arthur’s chest. 

“Please…Gaius.” Arthur begged, staring ahead at Merlin’s room. The door was closed but he knew Merlin was inside. Leon had told him that Merlin was alright, that he did survive Morgana’s attack but he needed to see Merlin with his own eyes. He needed to be sure. 

“Sire, you need rest. Your wounds are severe.” Gaius tried to reason with the prince. 

“Please.” Arthur pleaded again. He knew how bad his injuries were. His left side of torso was wrapped in bandage that led to his neck. According to Leon he had been screaming gutturally after being assaulted and had fallen into unconsciousness mere seconds later due to pain. “I…I’ll go back to my chamber once I see him. Please, Gaius.” 

Gaius sighed, defeated by Arthur’s low-spirited implore. “Very well, Sire. But just a moment and then you will go to your chamber to rest until I tell you otherwise. That’s an order.” 

Arthur was already moving before Gaius could even finish his sentences. He simply couldn’t wait anymore. He had been restless ever since he woke up twenty minutes ago. He didn’t care he felt like hell and he probably looked worse too. He just couldn’t rid the image of Merlin lying still on the floor in the banquet hall. He pushed the door to Merlin’s room and stopped dead in his track. “Lancelot?”

Lancelot shifted in the bed, arms wrapped around Merlin’s thin figure. “Prince Arthur. I thought I heard your voice but couldn’t be sure.” 

“What are you doing here?” Arthur wanted to explicitly ask why the knight was in Merlin’s bed, embracing his manservant. Although he was the Prince of Camelot, and despite the state he was currently in, it hardly seemed apt for him to question Lancelot’s motives, if he had any. 

“Merlin’s cold.” Lancelot straightforwardly answered, as if he knew exactly what Arthur had implied. He removed the blanket from his own body as he got out of the bed and gently wrapped it again around Merlin. “Lady Morgana’s spell…it didn’t cause any physical harm on Merlin but it somehow had caused a high fever for unknown reason and Merlin’s always cold and shivering. I’m trying to warm him up.”

Arthur didn’t miss the hint of defensiveness in Lancelot’s voice but he chose to ignore it. He sat on the bed, enough space now that Lancelot wasn’t occupy it anymore and placed a gentle hand on Merlin’s feverish forehead. The heat radiated almost made him yank his hand away but he didn’t. He needed this. He _needed_ to feel this close contact. He didn’t care Lancelot was in the room with him, or that Gaius and Leon were watching him from far. “Fight it, Merlin. Fight the spell. I need you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh, Morgana returns! :O
> 
> Is Lancelot in some kind of trouble now? :P
> 
> So, is anyone confused? Need more? Have inquiries? I'm here to answer you questions! Happy to do so! :D


	6. She's your daughter after all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd

“You should let yourself recover properly first.” Uther eyed the bandages around Arthur’s torso like a poisonous snake. “The knights can surely complete the tasks in hand.” 

“I’m recovered enough.” Arthur focused on the map displayed on the desk before him. “I won’t let the knights go without me. It’s my responsibility, not theirs.” 

“Arthur…” Uther visibly incensed. 

“Nobody knew her like I do, Father.” Arthur said. “We grew up together.” 

“She’s changed, Arthur.” Uther tried to make Arthur see the fault in his judgment.

“I know.” Arthur finally tore his eyes away from the map. “I know we can’t reason with her anymore. She’s no longer the Morgana we once knew and loved but I can’t send hundreds of my men on their own without me to lead them.” 

“She might spare them but she won’t hesitate to _kill_ you!” Uther hissed. “She had proven it when she sieged Camelot and when she assailed you at the banquet! You got lucky she had eyes on that manservant of yours! It could be _you_ in his place!” 

“I’m still going!” Arthur gritted his teeth, desperately wanted to shout at his father that it _should_ be him lying in the cot lifeless instead of Merlin. Merlin hadn’t done anything wrong. He was the collateral of Morgana’s wrath upon their family but it was Merlin that had paid the price. 

Which was why he desired to join the scout tracking Morgana down. He simply couldn’t stay confined in his chambers and did nothing while Merlin suffered. It had been three days and Merlin hadn’t yet regained consciousness and the fever was getting worse and it truly scared him. He wasn’t ready to lose Merlin and though he had tried to hide his fear from the others, he knew he hadn’t been hiding it well. Not when it came to Merlin. 

Gaius had remained hopeful and even though he didn’t distrust the old physician’s words, he believed the cure lied with Morgana. 

“You’re not going leaving this chamber and that’s an order!” Uther barked.  

“What exactly are you planning to do to her once Morgana is caught, Father? She’s your daughter after all.” Arthur dared to ask. If his father wanted to be stubborn with his decision, so could he. “I doubt you’d want to see her burned at the pyre.” 

Uther cast his gaze downwards, not looking at Arthur. Arthur knew the king was ashamed now that his dirty secret was out in the open, that Morgana was his illegitimate daughter. Finding out about the truth hurt at first. It meant not only Uther had betrayed Gorlois, someone who he said was his best friend, his father had also betrayed his mother.

He had never thought Morgana was his sister. They were extremely different from one another from their looks to their behaviors and all the way to their preferences. He was blonde with tanned skin and blue eyes which countered Morgana dark hair, pale skin and green eyes. He loved sword training more than anything while Morgana was rather stuck in the library reading. Where he couldn’t live without meat in his every meal, Morgana preferred fruits to be in hers. 

It such a tragic that it had come down to this.

“Once she’s captured, she’ll be punished for what she did to Camelot. To _you_.” Uther spoke at last, voice firm and cold as he observed Arthur’s injury once more. “Morgause had already corrupted her with magic and she can’t be saved anymore. She’ll be sentenced for practicing sorcery and most importantly for trying to overrule me and attempting to take the throne.” 

“Father…” Arthur was stunned. 

“It is my duty to protect the kingdom!” Uther seethed. “And you’re my son, my legitimate heir, the Crown Prince! And she _dared_ to hurt you. _That_ can never be forgiven.” 

 **~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**  

“I’m afraid there’s nothing more I can do, Sire.” Gaius said forlornly. 

“You can’t really mean that, Gaius!” Arthur exhaled heavily, heart racing. “There…There _has_ to be something you can do!” 

“I’ve tried everything. Every potion, every herb, every salve written in the books I have but none of them seems to work.” Gaius inspected Arthur’s wounds again. “The skin _should_ be healing without any scars.” 

“But it didn’t.” Arthur groaned as Gaius’ action had caused the bandage to pull on his poorly healed injury. The pain wasn’t as bad as before but the charred skin had somehow become badly scarred, from his left upper torso all the way up to his left neck and stopped just below his jaw. He hadn’t been able to see himself in the mirror since, too horrified by what he saw. 

He might be Arthur Pendragon, King Uther’s son, the Crown Prince of Camelot but he was also a warrior, the leader of an army, the First Knight of Camelot. He had been hit by a maze that caused a nasty bruise, he had been shot by an arrow that pierced through his chainmail, he had been stabbed by daggers and swords alike, he had bled for several reasons more times than he could remember and all of those had left him with scars, scattered all over his body but he had _never_ been burned. 

He wasn’t _prepared_ to see himself like this.

He looked disfigured.

“Can’t you think of something else? Other remedy?” Arthur was hopeful even though from the look on Gaius’ face said his chance was slim. 

“I’ll look into it.” Gaius said calmly to appease the young prince. “But Arthur…I don’t think this is an ordinary burn.” 

“What do you mean?” Arthur asked as Gaius removed the bandages.

“I’ve seen a lot of burn cases in my time.” Gaius stated, doing his job with callous but gentle hands. “From a handmaiden accidentally hurt herself in the kitchen, to a housefire, to witnessing someone being burned…at the pyre.” 

Arthur let out a deep breath, understood what Gaius was subtly indicating. “You think my injuries are similar to the latter.”   

“Yes.” Gaius confirmed solemnly. “When the skin burned severely into the deep layers, the surrounding skin began to pull together. It tightened the skin, resulting a contracture. That was what happened to Edwin Muirden.”

“The imposter who tried to kill my father and taken over your position.” Arthur said through gritted teeth.

“Edwin escaped the pyre that meant to kill him.” Gaius explicated. “And somehow the enchantment cast upon you had manifested into the same thing.” 

“What about Merlin?” Arthur focused fully on Gaius. Morgana had attacked Merlin too. He couldn’t bear the thought of any more harm to befall Merlin.

Gaius placed a hand on Arthur’s shoulder. “Arthur, Merlin is—”

“Gaius, Your Highness!” The door to Arthur’s chambers open wide with loud bang. Percival stormed inside, panting. “Merlin’s awake!” 

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

“Don’t you _dare_ scare me like that again, Merlin!” Arthur appeared angry, relieved and happy all at once, enveloping Merlin into a strong embrace. 

“Hmm…” Merlin gave a feeble reply. 

“Merlin!” Arthur wasn’t satisfied with the respond he received.

“She’s the one who _pelted_ me! It’s not like I could predict it or _want_ it to happen!” Merlin aggressively defended himself. 

“I don’t care!” Arthur rebuked. “Promise me you won’t exposed yourself like that ever again!”

“I can’t promise that.” Merlin deflated, mumbling against Arthur’s shoulder. 

“I know what you did. You purposely stood there so she could see you and aimed at you.” Arthur pulled away at arm’s length to look at Merlin, breaking their hug. He had marched straightforwardly to the bed with purpose after kicking everyone including Gaius out of the room and just remained there unwarranted. “I _know_ you. That’s what you always did. _No more_ , Merlin…promise me.” 

Instead of answering, Merlin stared at Arthur with a frown. His bony fingers trailed along the side of the prince’s neck. “You’re hurt.” 

Arthur drew back from Merlin’s touch. “It’s nothing. All that matter is that you’re alright.” 

“Arthur…” Merlin withdrew his hand. 

“We barely speak with each other. I haven’t seen your smile these past twenty-seven days, not directed at me anyways and I’m beyond miserable.” Arthur exhaled, taking Merlin’s hands in his and held them tight. “And seeing you like that, lying there on the floor unmoving and pale…I don’t think I can go through that again. I can’t…I can’t lose you.” 

“Arthur…” Merlin squeezed their hands. “You know I can’t promise you anything, and neither can you. Can you give me your word you’ll never get hurt in the battlefield? Not even a scratch?” 

“Alright, you win.” Arthur heave a sigh. Getting hurt in the frontline was a common thing for every knight. It was inevitable. Of course he couldn’t escape from that. “But can you _at least_ promise me to be less inept, _Mer_ lin? So that I don’t lose any more hair worrying about you?”

“Me, _inept_? I’m sure you meant someone else. Also, your thinning hair has nothing do to with me.” Merlin beamed brightly specially for Arthur. His eyes twinkled in delight. “So…twenty-seven days, huh?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of Uther's decision? Is he being cruel as usual or Morgana does deserve it? :O
> 
> Are you ready for some smut? :D
> 
> Thanks so much dear readers for appreciating my work! Special thanks to those who always commenting and give me insights that help me to write every chapter! Love y'all! :)


	7. Tie you to a tree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd

“ _Mer_ lin!” Arthur’s angry roar echoed deafeningly in the forest. The knights stopped talking while the birds’ joyous chirping was gone and replaced with the sound of them flapping their wings, flying away for an escape from the impending wrath of the prince.

“Yes?” Merlin innocently dismounted the horse.

“Merlin, what the _hell_ are you doing here?!” Arthur stormed toward the servant. The knights who already knew better had cleared the way for the livid prince. “I gave you the order not to leave your room and to _stay_ in bed!” 

“You know I’m bad at following orders…yours especially.” Merlin grinned. 

“You could at least tell me that you wanted to join us!” Arthur wasn’t done being mad. He had spent more than an hour making sure everything involving Merlin would be taken care of before he left with the knights for patrol. Merlin had promised to stay in bed and he also had established an assurance from Gaius that Merlin would be under his watchful eyes. He couldn’t believe he had been _lied_ to by both men. 

“Oh, so you could _yell_ at me?” Merlin asked. 

“I wouldn’t yell at you!” Arthur was indeed yelling, causing Merlin and the rest of the knights to give him an incredulous look. 

“See…” Merlin turned to the knights to prove that he was right. 

“I don’t wanna get involved in this, mate.” Gwaine raised his hands in surrender and walked away, followed by Elyan, Percival, Lancelot and even Leon who was openly chortling. 

“Go _sit_ over there while we set up the camp!” Arthur snatched the horse’s leash from Merlin’s hand. He wished he could force Merlin to return to Camelot but his manservant was a stubborn person. He had a high chance winning in a melee than arguing with Merlin. “And if I see you _move_ even just a bit, I _swear_ I’ll _tie_ you to a tree!”

“You can’t make me.” Merlin answered petulantly.

“I’m the prince, _Mer_ lin. Do as I say!” Arthur instructed firmly.

“I’m bored doing nothing! I had been staring at plain walls for weeks!” Merlin pitifully whined. “Gaius wouldn’t even let me help with anything!” 

Arthur impatiently tugged Merlin’s hand, manhandling him to sit by the bonfire. A pure satisfaction consumed him when he saw Merlin’s pout, having to do as he said whether he liked it or not. “What were you _thinking_ following us here, you idiot?! You still aren’t well, you shouldn’t be here!” 

Merlin glared at Arthur. “I’m fine!” 

Arthur’s blue eyes were fierce. “You were bewitched!” 

Merlin attempted to stand. “That was _four_ weeks ago!” 

Arthur pushed him back down. “You were unconscious for _days_!”

Merlin swatted Arthur’s hands. “I’ve healed!”

Arthur grabbed both of Merlin’s flailing arm and gripped the man’s wrists to subdue him. “You had a high fever that left you shivering like a hopeless _leaf_ in a storm! You were almost killed!” 

“And you’re overreacting!” Merlin huffed, extremely disgruntled. “I’m perfectly capable going back to work and if you would just stop hovering like a _clotpole_ —”

“ _Merlin_!” Arthur thundered. 

“It’s going to be a long night for us.” Lancelot commented as he fed his steed, receiving nods of agreement from his fellow knights. 

 **~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**  

“I just want you to know…” Merlin panted. “I’m not doing this to…to appease you or anything like that.” 

“Seems kind of pointless if you aren’t going to appease me in some manner.” Arthur ran his hand up Merlin’s thigh and watched in delight as the other man closed his eyes in pleasure. 

“I just thought I…I should get that straight so there’s n-no…misunderstanding.” Merlin moaned. 

“Duly noted.” Arthur continued stroking Merlin’s cock, making the dark-haired man arched under him, letting out a choked cry.

“A-Arthur…come on…p-please…” Merlin husked.

“Should we even do this?” Arthur paused, both his hips and hand. “Is it safe…for you?”

“You’re already _inside_ me, Arthur. It’s a lil bit too late to ask, isn’t it?” Merlin looked murderous. “ _Move_ , dollop head.” 

“You’re unbelievable.” Arthur latched onto Merlin’s lips for a kiss that was wet and messy, and began thrusting into Merlin again. He turned his face, pressing it against Merlin, breathing in the scent. They were both breathing hard and fast.

“R-Right there.” Merlin tossed his head back, urging Arthur and wanting more. “A-Arthur…” 

“ _God_.” Arthur groaned loudly at the feel of Merlin clenching and spasming around his cock.

Merlin gave some sort of whimpered protest beneath Arthur. His hands were grasping the pillow, body shuddering. Arthur pulled out slowly and then slid into Merlin again, keeping it at the slowest pace that he could manage. Usually it was hard and fast and Arthur would watch as Merlin spurted and came on just his cock alone, but not this time. He needed the slow and steady pace. He needed to feel close to Merlin, he wanted to just _revel_ in the feel of being inside the other man. 

This wasn’t just a quick fuck anymore. 

He didn’t want it to last. 

“Ah, ah…” Merlin gasped, hand closing over the back of Arthur’s neck. “Never had…anyone…make me feel…the way you do.” 

“Merlin…” Merlin’s every spoken word pierced his heart. Arthur caught Merlin’s mouth again, tongue sliding hot and wet to meet him. He buried himself inside his manservant, clutching him. The desperate, intense feeling in him that he needed to convey so badly, carried through in ragged thrusts. 

“Arthur, p-please…” Merlin whimpered, undulating beneath Arthur.

“I-I got you.” Arthur swiveled his hips slowly, pressing his cock deeper into Merlin. He tried to keep in control, tried to hold back for just another stroke but he could feel the pleasure curling at the base of his spine. He was going to lose it. 

Arthur’s hand reaching up to frame Merlin’s face, thumb running along the line of his cheekbone. Merlin was so gorgeous that it almost hurt to look at him. His cheeks flushed, lips dark pink and dark blue eyes fluttering shut, completely lost in what Arthur was doing to him, clinging to his prince like he was a lifeline.

“ _Arthur_!” Merlin gasped and shuddered, crying out against Arthur’s ear.

Arthur groaned as Merlin squeezed his cock so incredibly tightly. He clutched Merlin closer, feeling the wave of bliss hitting him in his cock and surging through the rest of his body in a flood of white hot rapture as he came inside of Merlin, painted his insides with his seed. Merlin was still panting under him, twitching with aftershocks and Arthur held onto him, tucking his face against the man as he trembled, feeling so out of control. 

He was so close to losing this, losing _Merlin_.

“Hey…” Merlin gently stroke Arthur’s disheveled hair as if he understood Arthur’s vulnerability in that very moment. “I’m right here.”

Arthur feebly nodded, mouth pressed a brief kiss to Merlin’s throat. Wild, raw emotions brimming to the core, not wanting to let go. 

 **~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**  

“What did I do wrong?” Arthur stared at the lump of flour in dismay. “I’ve followed the correct recipe, haven’t I? It can’t be this hard to bake a honey cake! Leave it to Merlin to have such a complicated favorite dessert.” 

“Maybe it _should_ look like this before it blossoms into something edible?” Arthur skeptically inspected the lump again, arms akimbo. He couldn’t believe he had lost a fight with a bag of flour. It was all over him. His hair had gone incredibly lighter in color because of it, his face appeared as if he had put on those ridiculous face powder he had seen on visiting princesses and resident noblewomen alike. His tunic definitely had seen better days and his breeches seemed beyond salvageable. 

If anyone would find him like this, he would surely _kill_ them in sight. 

They might also think their prince had lost his mind when they noticed he was talking to himself. 

It was almost dawn and he had to hurry if he wanted to get this done. Kitchen staffs would be piling in in less than an hour and he couldn’t get caught by any of them. He had a reputation to uphold and dignity to keep. Kitchen helpers were the worst gossipers in Camelot. 

It _would_ be easier if he just stole the cake later on when the cook had baked it but then it would be meaningless. 

“Let’s give it one more try.” Arthur clapped his hands and immediately coughed when the flour entered his nostrils. “ _Damn it!_ ”

“Who’s there?” Someone entered the kitchen and Arthur started to panic. He desperately wanted to flee but there was no way out. The person was blocking his only exit and though the dim light produced by the candle could obscure his face, he still needed to bolt without getting caught.  

The footsteps were coming closer. “Arthur?” 

Arthur recognized the voice and promptly turned. “Guinevere!” 

“Arthur, what are you doing in the kitchen?” Gwen frowned, trying to glance at the apparently messy table behind Arthur. “At this hour?” 

“I uh…” Arthur struggled to come up with a lie. He couldn’t believe his luck. Of all people in Camelot, it was _Guinevere_ that had to witness him in this state. He would rather if it was his father instead. 

“Arthur?” Gwen prompted again. 

“I was searching for something to eat.” Arthur finally said and cringed. He sounded like his chubby five-year-old self who had demanded food from his then maidservant in the middle of the night once upon a time ago. He wondered what had happened to her. 

Gwen’s expression turned soft. “I’m sure Merlin could prepare something for you if you asked him nicely. You haven’t seen him yet?” 

 _He’s in my chambers…snoring_. Arthur’s mind incited as he smiled awkwardly at Guinevere.

It had been a while since Arthur last chatted with Guinevere. He barely saw her after she was entrusted with Sir Wentworth’s fussy wife and after Morgana’s ill attendance, he had been too focused on Merlin’s welfare to think about anything else.

And right now, in the messy kitchen, as dawn approaching, Guinevere looked absolutely _stunning_ in her purple dress. 

How did she manage to look so beautiful so early in the morning?

“Guinevere…” Arthur began, feeling giddy. “Since you’re here, care to join me for breakfast?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was the smut? OK? No? I could do better? I should never write smut again? :)
> 
> Happy writer = faster chapter ;)


	8. Hardly seems like a punishment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd

“Sorry, sorry!” Merlin ran, wild and fast. His lips kept on uttering apologies to those he had knocked in his haste but he didn’t have the privilege to stop and made sure they were alright, which he normally did. 

“I’m dead. I’m so, very _dead_.” Merlin took a sharp turn at the end of the hall. All the rush had brought a new bout of nausea and he began to feel woozy but he couldn’t stop, knowing very well he didn’t have time to spare at all because there was the imminent hell that was waiting for him upon his presence in the royal chambers. 

He had overslept _again_ and it meant he was late to serve Arthur _again_. It had been happening for almost a week now and despite his best effort, he still failed to rise early like he normally did. He blamed it on Arthur of course for ordering him to do chores after chores as much as he could that left him exhausted at night and too fatigue to wake up in the morning. The constant headaches and upset stomach sure wasn’t helping either. 

“Good morning, Sire!” Merlin declared happily, fighting off the breathlessness, queasiness and dizziness as he entered the prince’s chambers, ready to perform his task. He was also fully prepared to face Arthur’s ire and crankiness for his tardiness. It wasn’t his first time after all. “Oh, you’re already awake.” 

“Were you lost?” Arthur seemed more amused than upset, leaning back in his seat behind his desk. “Couldn’t find my chambers?”

Merlin cringed seeing the paperwork that he had meticulously arranged yesterday was scattered messily on the desk. “If you must know, I _dread_ coming here.”  

Arthur pushed himself up, walking leisurely to where Merlin was standing. “If you were other servants, _Mer_ lin, I’d have you flogged by now.” 

Merlin crinkled his nose. “That hardly seems like a punishment. Compared to being your manservant, that’s more like a blessing to me.” 

“Oh, really?” Arthur stood in front of Merlin, arms across his chest.

“Only because you’re a prat.” Merlin said cheekily. “Sometimes.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “I told you to just sleep here so you wouldn’t have to hurry over every morning. We could sleep in if you want.” 

Merlin scoffed. “Sleep in? Hah! You’d definitely _force_ me to fetch you your breakfast the moment you open your eyes, you prat!” 

“I could think of a few things that we could do that would _certainly_ make me forget about food.” Arthur wiggled his eyebrows suggestively as he pulled Merlin into his embrace.

“Ugh, you stink.” Merlin clasped a hand over his mouth, immediately prying himself away from Arthur. 

“ _Excuse me_?” Arthur was clearly offended. 

“Why do you smell so _bad_?” Merlin’s voice was muffled by his hand. “You just had a bath last night! With sandalwood scented soap!” 

Arthur sniffed his tunic. “I smell just fine.” 

Merlin aggressively shook his head, hand still plastered to his face as a shield. “No, you reek!”

Arthur stepped closer which had caused Merlin to take a few steps back. “ _Mer_ lin, stop being dramatic.”   

“You stay there.” Merlin ordered but was ignored by Arthur who kept on crowding him. Overwhelmed by Arthur’s strong scent, he ran blindly around the room before the urge to vomit heightened and he ended up heaving the contents of his stomach all over the paperwork on the prince’s desk.

“Merlin!” Arthur hurried to Merlin’s side, hands hovering hopelessly near the manservant but not exactly touching. “Why didn’t you tell me you were unwell?”

“I’m _fine_.” Merlin moaned in despair, slumped against the side of the desk. “Could you…go away? You still stink.” 

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

“Did you eat rotten fruits? Stale bread?” Gaius prodded Merlin’s stomach. 

“I ate the very same thing as Arthur.” Merlin thought back what he actually had eaten from Arthur’s plate days prior. They were mostly cheese and meat and he began to wonder how Arthur could remain as fit as he currently was with all the fats he had been eating and without any fruits or vegetable to balance his diet. 

“And how long have you been experiencing this?” Gaius’ hand pressed down on Merlin’s abdomen once more, making the man squirm uncomfortably. 

“Five days?” Merlin said, bracing himself to be scolded.

Gaius upended Merlin’s head. “And you didn’t bother telling me this?!” 

Merlin scowled in return. “I was busy! And I thought it was a mild case of food poisoning!” 

“We’re lucky if it’s just food poisoning.” Gaius groused, continuing his work. “Could it be the lingering effects of Morgana’s spell?”

“It can’t be. That was what…two, three months ago?” Merlin tiredly watched Gaius. “It couldn’t have persisted this long. Also, the symptoms are totally different.”

“So…nausea, dizziness and headache?” Gaius stopped his prodding. “Anything you want to add?” 

“Exhaustion. Severe, dreadful exhaustion that makes me never want to leave my bed.” Merlin added, closing his eyes when the room started spinning. “And oh, I can’t stand Arthur.” 

“That’s hardly a new thing, Merlin. You can’t stand Arthur most of the time.” Gaius commented as he flicked through the journals for solutions and potions alike. 

“No, not him as a person. It’s his scent, Gaius. I literally can’t _stand_ him.” Merlin groaned when it brought back the impulse to heave. “For a prince, he smelled like the stable boy…and _that_ what triggers the vomiting.” 

Gaius unexpectedly closed the book he was reading, pale face. “Do you…feel bloated as well?” 

Merlin gave a small nod. “Most of the time, yes. How did you know?” 

“It can’t be…” Gaius appeared troubled. 

“Gaius?” Merlin lifted himself up on the elbows a little, straining to look at Gaius. He always welcomed the silence but at the moment, it was actually deafening. “Gaius, what’s wrong?”

“Merlin, there’s no easy way to tell you this.” Gaius sat on a stool that was previously occupied by Arthur before Merlin threw him out of the room. 

“Am I dying?” Merlin asked forlornly.

“No.” Gaius swiftly stated. “But I believe you’re with child.” 

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

“What Gaius told you is true, young warlock.” Kilgharrah’s deep voice resonated in the clearings. “You are indeed with child.”

“How is that even possible?!” Merlin was hysterical. He had been ever since Gaius told him his ridiculous assumption based on the manifestations alone. “I’m a _man_! Despite Arthur kept calling me a girl, I’m a _man_! I peed standing up and I positively hadn’t once experience _menses_ like the ladies do every month! It’s strictly _impossible_ for me to be expecting because I am a _man_!” 

“Fate and destiny are unpredictable.” Kilgharrah said unhelpfully, voice flat without any emotions behind it. 

“Unpredictable, yes…but not the impossible!” Merlin started pacing, shocked. 

“We live in the world where the impossible happens all the time, young warlock.” Kilgharrah said calmly. “Sir Leon was brought back from the brink of death by the Cup of Life, my kind was supposed to be extinct but here I am, and here you are as my dragonlord.”

“But that’s different! All of that happens because of magic. _This_ , this can’t be right! Magic couldn’t have done this!” Merlin couldn’t accept the truth. “No, you’re wrong.”  

“I told you once before, Merlin…there is no right or wrong, only what is and what isn’t.” Kilgharrah remained tranquil. “None of us can choose our destiny, and none of us can escape it.” 

“So, you’re saying it is my _destiny_ to carry Arthur Pendragon’s bastard child even though I am a man?!” Merlin shrieked, losing all his composure. He didn’t care he just admitted to an ancient creature that he had lain with the Crown Prince of Camelot who now apparently had also impregnated him. 

“Your destiny lies with the Once and Future King.” Kilgharrah repeated the words he had once uttered all the years ago. “Perhaps it decides to seal your future with the young Pendragon indefinitely.” 

“Did you know this was going to happen?” Merlin narrowed his eyes at the magical creature, ready to take advantage of his status as a dragonlord.

“The Old Religion has nothing to do with the witch’s doings!” Kilgharrah rumbled. 

Merlin’s mouth became dry. Gaius was right all along. Morgana didn’t show up just to cause a minor injury on him or simply to leave a permanent scar on Arthur. She did have a hidden agenda. “Morgana did this?” 

Kilgharrah bowed his head as an approval. “She has other plans for you and Arthur, which are not yet clear to me.” 

Merlin dropped to the wet ground. The revelation had made him weak and his feet couldn’t bear his weight any longer. “What am I going to do, Kilgharrah? They’ll find out who I am. They’ll know magic is involved and you more than anyone know how much Uther despised magic. And Arthur…Arthur will never forgive me.”   

“Perhaps…” Kilgharrah lowered himself to be in the same height as Merlin as much as possible. “This child is the key to your destiny.”

“What do you mean?” Merlin stared at the dragon, hoping for a guidance that Gaius couldn’t provide.

“Your unborn child is half you and half Arthur. He or she is a Pendragon, the heir of Camelot, and yet a kin of magic and the Old Religion as well.” There was a hint of pride in Kilgharrah’s voice. “He or she is the link between these two worlds. What better way to unite Albion than by bonding it through the virtue and purity of a child?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little Pendragon is here! ♥
> 
> Merlin's pregnancy journey has begun! ♥
> 
> Do you think Merlin's going to tell Arthur about the child or not? :D


	9. Ways to irk you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.

“I think you’re lying.” Arthur accused. 

“I can assure you, I am not.” Merlin reacted. 

“I’m not convinced.” Arthur gaped at Merlin suspiciously. 

“Pity.” Merlin said minimally, not looking at Arthur who in return was observing him like a hawk.

“May I remind you _again_ that lying to your prince is an act of treason, _Mer_ lin.” Arthur used his low, intimidating voice. “The punishment is certainly severe and permanent.” 

Merlin finally turned around to face the prince, huffing in annoyance as he closed the cupboard. He was absent for only one day, needed to get away after the life-changing news to get his head straight and it seemed to trigger Arthur’s protective streak. Honestly, he wasn’t intimidated by Arthur’s threat at all. He still could ignore Arthur until he was done with his chores, leaving the prince aggravated even more that might _at least_ cost him mucking out the horses. Usually, it wouldn’t seem like such a burden but with his current condition, he didn’t think he could stand the smell of the stable.

Heck, he could barely be near Arthur without feeling nauseous. 

That was why he was in front of the dresser while Arthur was _way_ over there in bed, sulking. 

“I am _fine_ , Arthur. I’m well enough entertaining your prat self, aren’t I?” Merlin threw the Crown Prince a glare. “Or do you need a written letter of approval from Gaius to back up my words?” 

“A written letter, you say?” Arthur appeared contemplative. “That would be great.”

“I don’t have time for this.” Merlin grumbled, pulling the wardrobe door open once again to finish his errands.

“What you’re saying is completely ridiculous, _Mer_ lin.” Arthur royally complained. “How can it be true? Are you making this up?” 

“ _Why_ would I be making this up? Now _you’re_ being ridiculous.” Merlin glanced over his shoulder.

“I don’t know.” Arthur shrugged. “Maybe you’re cahooting with Gaius just to irk me.” 

Merlin closed the door a little bit forcefully as he turned to glare at the prince once more. “I have better things to do than spending my free time finding ways to _irk_ you, dollop head.”

Arthur narrowed his eyes in return. “Well forgive me if I find it hard to believe that your predicament is solely because of me! By something that _I_ use on daily basis. You seemed rather fine when you are with everyone else.” 

Merlin attempted to appear nonchalant. He was lying straight to Arthur’s face and he did not wish to be caught. The truth was harder to explain than this simple lie. “That _is_ Gaius’ theory. It could be your hair tonic or soap. Perhaps it’s time for you to become a regular person like the rest of us and stop using weird concoction on yourself. So, until Gaius finds the culprit, you keep your distance while I do my work!”

Arthur flung his legs over the bed, outwardly ready to act if necessary. “And _how_ do you expect to do your job when you can’t even be _near me_?! Who’s going to help me put on my chainmail? Give me a bath? Prepare—” 

“There are other servants.” Merlin casually rested his back against the wall, still keeping up pretense when all he wanted was to flee. He was going to break if he stayed there alone with Arthur. 

“But _you_ are my manservant! I want you and nobody else!” Arthur argued like a petulant child. 

“Sharing is caring, Arthur.” Merlin meekly responded.

“But I missed you!” Arthur was borderline whining. “I want to hold you and kiss you…”

Merlin smiled hearing Arthur’s confession. He had missed Arthur’s kisses and his warmth too. Arthur’s strong embrace always made him feel protected and loved. He wanted to tell Arthur everything, absolutely _everything_ but he wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready to face the consequences that would befall him once Arthur knew what was actually happening that might cause him to lose his prince forever. 

He couldn’t shy away from Arthur forever but according to Gaius the sickness was usually temporary. Once he hit a certain month, it would all be gone and he could be with Arthur again. But of course, it was all based on Gaius’ experiences in natural pregnancy with no magic involved and the carrier were women. 

He was none of the above.

 **~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**  

“Uh, Merlin?” Lancelot glanced down at Merlin who was sitting under a tree. “Care to tell me why there is another servant assisting Arthur while you sit here moping?

“Because I’m a useless manservant and now he hates me.” Merlin replied dramatically.

“There’s no need to exaggerate.” Lancelot put his sword aside and sat beside Merlin. “Now, tell me what _really_ happened.”

“You’re not going to believe me.” Merlin pulled on the grass, agitated.

“Come on, it’s _me_. Of course I’ll believe you.” Lancelot shoved Merlin gently with his shoulder. “You trust me with your magic and you can trust me with this too.” 

“Gaius could hardly believe it either.” There was now a bald spot on the ground made by Merlin’s fidgeting fingers. 

“Try me.” Lancelot persuaded. 

Merlin stared at Lancelot, weighing his options. “I’m pregnant.” 

Lancelot blinked. There was a heavy pause that made Merlin even more agitated. “Uh…come again? I’m not sure I heard that right.”

Merlin slumped further against the tree. “I know you won’t believe me.”

Lancelot observed the forlorn Merlin. “You really are…pregnant?”

“Morgana’s spell.” Came a short reply from Merlin and Lancelot nodded in understanding without needing further explanation. When it came to Morgana, nobody needed justification anymore to really understand the reasons behind her actions. 

“And Arthur…?” Lancelot asked with caution.

“Is the father.” Merlin confirmed, sighing.

“I knew there’s something between you two but I honestly didn’t expect this, Merlin.” Lancelot admitted. 

Merlin’s eyes widened. “You knew? About…about me and…and Arthur?”

Lancelot rolled his eyes. “Even a blind man can see there’s something between you two and we’re definitely not blind.” 

“W-We?” Merlin gulped, edgy.

“Yeah, me and the knights.” Lancelot uttered with a smirk. “The five of us, we all had our suspicions and we just accept it as it is.”

“Can’t believe you all gossiping behind my back.” Merlin grumbled unhappily. He should know by the looks he received from the knights that they all knew all along, not just Leon. The lewd smile, the inappropriate jokes. It all made sense now. “Arthur’s the Crown Prince…he could easily un-knighted all of you.”    

“Your threat is hardly intimidating, Merlin.” Lancelot simpered. “So, you’re pregnant…with the prince’s child. Is that why Arthur is currently giving me a death glare from far?”

Merlin instantly gazed up toward where Arthur was supposedly training and indeed saw the deadly glare thrown at Lancelot. “He doesn’t know…yet.”

Lancelot frowned. “But if…why—”

“Arthur’s frustrated…with me.” Merlin’s fingers began to pester the grass again. It had been a couple of weeks since he found out that he was pregnant and Arthur still hadn’t had a clue. “Just like any pregnant women, I get this _sickness_. Gaius said it’s called _morning_ sickness but it’s totally useless to call it that because I felt nauseous _all the time_! Do you know that I have to keep a damn _bucket_ with me so that I won’t throw up everywhere?”

Lancelot put a hand on Merlin’s shoulder. “Merlin, you’re rambling.”

Merlin sighed, clenching and unclenching his fingers in distress. “Being around Arthur made it worse. It’s like I’m hypersensitive around him. I can’t do my normal duties anymore so I lied to him. I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up.”

Sympathy was written all over Lancelot’s face. “Merlin, it isn’t my place to tell you what to do but I think it’s best for you to tell Arthur.” 

“And tell him what? That Morgana had cursed me with a spell that gave me the ability to carry a child and since we had sex constantly, I’m currently pregnant and the baby is his?” Merlin was hyperventilating. “I’d be burned at the pyre before I could even finish the sentence.”

 **~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**  

“Merlin, is it my imagination or are you getting fat?” Arthur quirked an eyebrow, judging.

Merlin spluttered, choked on his food by Arthur’s comment. He really hated the prat at the moment. “I’m not fat.”

Gaius was right, the nausea was temporary and Merlin was over the moon. Now that the queasiness was finally gone and he just began to get his appetite back, nobody was going to be in his way and stop him from devouring the food and quenching his cravings. 

After weeks of suffering he was _free_ at last.

He also no longer had to keep his distance from Arthur anymore, which of course delight the prince. If only Arthur could learn to be grateful and appreciate him more. Three days reunited and the clotpole was already calling him fat.

Arthur sniggered mischievously. “It does hurt when someone calls you fat, doesn’t it?”

Snatching Arthur’s goblet right from the prince’s hand, Merlin poured more water for himself. “No, it _doesn’t_ hurt because I’m not offended for the reason that I’m well aware that I’m _not_ fat. What if I had ropes wrapped around my waist like before?”

Arthur was amused. “Well, do you?” 

Merlin quickly downed his drink, tipping the goblet to a higher angle so he could hide his face. “I might.”

Arthur leaned forward, both arms on the table, hands latched together as he ogled his manservant. “Why on Earth would you hide a rope under your tunic?”

Merlin put the goblet down, grinned wittily. “For all time sake? I’d love to see you face deep in horse dung again.” 

Seizing his goblet back, Arthur put it out of Merlin’s reach. “Do me a favor, _Mer_ lin. If you do plan to run away, please use the door. No need to climb down the window with a rope.”

Merlin batted his eyelashes. “Aw, are you afraid I might fall and hurt myself like you did?”

Arthur scoffed. “No, I just don’t want to be a witness when you fall to your inevitable death.”

“Arthur Pendragon, ladies and gentlemen…ever the romantic.” Merlin scowled, scooping up two pickled eggs from the flagon with his bare hand. He cracked them open, dipped them deep in minced peas then splayed them on Arthur’s strawberry jam spread bread. 

“There’s definitely something very _wrong_ with you.” Arthur’s disgusted face said it all but Merlin completely disregarded him as he ate. “You’re absolutely revolting.”

Merlin instantaneously stopped eating. “I’m disgusting?”

“The things you _eat_ are disgusting. On the contrary, I actually love seeing you like this. All plump up and cozy.” Arthur pinched Merlin’s cheek. “I think it’s a good thing I’ve fattened you up a bit. I can’t imagine how you ever survived harsh winters in Ealdor without any meat on your bones.”

Merlin stared at the prince who was smiling to himself as he tore the edge of Merlin’s repulsive bread to get the unspoiled part. Arthur looked so content and unrestricted, like he always did when there was just the two of them. Not even Uther got to see this side of Arthur. Arthur was always wound up in the present of king, all brave and mighty among the knights, and regal within the lower town of Camelot.

With Merlin, he was carefree.

Merlin hated to ruin this happy moment but he had been stalling for weeks now and according to Gaius he would start showing soon. There was no way he could hide it when the bump became visible to the naked eye. No loose tunic nor breeches could help him hide it anymore.

Merlin was terrified. He was terribly, absolutely _terrified_.

He still couldn’t accept that he was pregnant, not _fully_ accepting it, that there was indeed another person _living_ inside of him no matter what Gaius and Kilgharrah said about prophecy and destiny. The prospect was still too bizarre in his mind.

Taking a deep breath, Merlin clasp a hand around Arthur’s arm. “Arthur, there’s something I need to tell you.”

Arthur was all smile. “What is it?”

Merlin’s chest pounded. “Arthur, I—”

“Arthur?” A feminine, familiar voice suddenly called out from behind the closed door. “Sire, may I come in?”

Arthur beamed brighter, promptly getting off his chair to open the door which left Merlin dumbfounded in his seat. “Guinevere, come on in. Merlin and I had just finished our meal.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're all fully prepared for the angst. :(
> 
> Arthur's being an idiot and hurting Merlin...again. :(


	10. My fate in Camelot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd.
> 
> Beware, lot of tissues are needed ☹️

“I have no choice but to tell Arthur now, haven’t I?” Merlin pulled down his tunic as Gaius finished his checkup.

“I’m afraid so, Merlin. You simply can’t stall anymore.” Gaius affirmed. 

“I can’t believe this is my life now.” Merlin paced back and forth the small room, head spinning. Months had passed, signs had come and go, and now the evidence was obvious. “I could barely survive hiding one massive secret from Arthur and now I have _two_.”

“Which is why you need to tell Arthur before you lose your mind.” Gaius advised. “You’re not at fault here, Merlin. Morgana caused this and I’m certain Arthur will somehow understand.”

“See, even you aren’t convinced Arthur wouldn’t react badly.” Merlin didn’t stop pacing.

“I know you’re scared and I do share your apprehensiveness but what other choice do you have? You’re a scrawny lad, people will surely notice especially Arthur who you see every day and routinely bed. You can’t exactly carry on your duty as the prince’s manservant with a big belly.” Gaius stated the obvious. “Sixteen weeks and you’re already started showing. Like it or not, you’ll only get bigger and bigger.”

“I’m terrified of how Arthur might react.” Merlin finally admitted. His belly was indeed prominent now and he knew perfectly well he would become huge in the months afterwards just like what he had witnessed with the noblemen’s wives during their pregnancy. He had been uneasy when Arthur said he was getting plumper and that was weeks ago. Arthur hadn’t commented anything more after that but he suspected the prat would lay a new one eventually. Though he wasn’t ready to become enormous, the idea of telling Arthur this was still the most frightening thing to come. “What if Arthur refused to believe me or worse, he _did_ believe me but wanted nothing to do with me and…and the baby? What’s left of my fate in Camelot if that happened?” 

“Arthur won’t do that.” Gaius said with conviction. 

Merlin however didn’t share the same faith as Gaius. “This child is created from _magic_ and let’s also not forget that _I_ have magic too. There’s a likelihood that he or she will inherit my ability and I can’t really put the blame on Morgana. Arthur might not like his father but he still hasn’t really accepted sorcery either. What if by telling him I’m condemning this child’s life before they’re even born? Sealing their fate before it can even begin? I can’t just spare an innocent life like it means nothing.”

Gaius remained composed. “Arthur _is_ Uther’s son but he _isn’t_ Uther. He’s more like Ygraine, to be honest. He’s compassionate and I can see he cares about you, Merlin.” 

Merlin wished he had Gaius’ optimistic streak. “Even if that’s true…there’s Uther do be dealt with as well, Gaius. I fear what the king would do. Would he imprison me for bedding the Crown Prince? Or would he behead me for letting myself being knocked up? _Or_ would he straightforwardly burn me at the pyre for carrying his own son’s illegitimate heir that was created from magic made by his own illegitimate daughter?”

Gaius gently pushed Merlin onto one of the stools. “Merlin, sit down and please refrain yourself from hyperventilating. Despite what is at stake, Uther is the least of our problem.”

Merlin felt weary all of a sudden. The reminder of the true nature of his pregnancy made him feel cold. “Morgana…”

Gaius grimly nodded. “We both know for a certain Morgana didn’t do this out of the goodness of her heart. She’s doing this on purpose. Why would she give Arthur an heir when she wanted the throne to herself? She’s planning on something and the child is somewhat crucial to her plan. _Both_ of you are in danger and the only person who _could_ protect you and the child is Arthur.”

“Arthur’s a skillful knight and great with sword. He’d undoubtedly win against mortal men but Morgana is a powerful sorceress.” Merlin stated.

“Nevertheless, he’s the child’s other father.” Gaius said softly. “Don’t underestimate a father’s love, Merlin. You yourself…you already love the child, don’t you? Granted, you’re afraid but it still doesn’t cloud the way you truly feel.”

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

“It might work.” Arthur’s voice made Merlin frown, standing immobile right outside the prince’s chambers. It was late, there shouldn’t be any more visitors in the royal quarters. Even Leon wouldn’t have bothered Arthur at this hour.

There was another hushed voice inside but it was so soft Merlin couldn’t pinpoint who it was and he was beginning to get agitated. He had built up a courage to confront Arthur hence before he could talk himself out of it, he had made his way to Arthur's chambers, determined to tell him about his child tonight, knowing Arthur would be alone and there wouldn’t be anyone to disturb them. It was one of the perks he got for being the prince’s personal manservant.

Nonetheless he was annoyed with whoever the person was inside of Arthur’s chambers for ruining his plan. Also, it rather irked him for not knowing who Arthur was currently with. Shouldn’t he be notified if Arthur was expecting a company?

“That is amazing, Guinevere!” Arthur’s whispered tone suddenly became loud and cheerful, clear for Merlin to perceive and hearing that name felt like a stake to the heart. He could physically _feel_ his heart constrict painfully in his chest. Of all the people he had suspected, it didn’t cross his mind that it might be Gwen.

“Brilliant and beautiful…that’s what I love about you.” Merlin shut his eyes as Arthur spoke again, attempting to block the agony that was writhing all over his body.

He truly hadn’t assumed anything when Arthur had welcomed Gwen into his chambers a few weeks back while they were having a nice meal together. He had thought back then Gwen had something important to discuss with Arthur, the Crown Prince. He was done eating and he really didn’t have any suspicions when Arthur asked him to leave them be. It was the usual occurrence whenever Arthur wanted to discuss something with someone let it be the knights or his father.

From the look of it, it seemed like Arthur and Gwen had reconciled, entwining back their lost love. When he thought about it, Arthur hadn’t exactly said that it was over between him and Gwen, had he? It was him, the fool Merlin who had selfishly assumed it when Arthur had spent more time with him and no longer talked about Gwen.

He didn’t want it to be true. He really had thought Arthur had been sincere, that Arthur had been true to his heart and had chosen him and nobody else.

“We have to keep this a secret, Guinevere. Nobody can know about this, especially Merlin.” Arthur had spoken with a low tone, and right there and then Merlin knew he was nothing but Arthur’s dirty little secret.

“I’m glad you finally open your eyes, Arthur.” Gwen’s words were the final blow and so Merlin ran, as fast as he could. Just being there burned him. He desperately needed to get away.

He had been despaired when the father he never knew died in his arms, he had been inconsolable when his mother was sick, and he was downright heartbroken when he thought Gaius had died.  But tonight, he had never been more devastated in his life. He felt as if he was dying. He had been played all along by two people he had thought were his friends. 

“You're not in love with me. If you ever were, you would _never_ have turned to Merlin for intimacy.” Gwen said softly to Arthur but Merlin was already gone to hear any of it. “You may love me, Arthur, but you are not _in love_ with me, and you never have been. I’m happy you finally realize who your heart truly desires the most.”

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

Merlin stared at Arthur’s sleeping form. Arthur’s handsome face was pressed slightly into the pillow and his lips were slightly agape. His naked torso was full on display, the rise and fall of his chest was evident. Merlin even counted the soft breaths the prince took as he lost himself in his deep slumber. He wanted to commit everything to his memory for this would be the last time he would be beholding this.

He had packed everything he owned, which wasn’t much, in the wee hours of the morning and had set it at the siege tunnel entrance. He would attend his duties as usual before he left so that way he could leave unseen by anyone. He hoped Gaius wouldn’t notice his things were missing until he was far enough from Camelot.

It was time for him to say goodbye.

“See anything you like?” Merlin was pulled back from his musing by Arthur’s deep voice, laced with the remnants of his sleep.

“Yes, your pillows.” Merlin disregard Arthur’s attempt of sweet-talking, knowing very well where it would typically lead.

Arthur had started to sulk. “How about you stop being difficult when I try to woo you and just join me in bed?”

Merlin made a face. “How about no?”

Arthur clearly wasn’t pleased. “ _Mer_ lin…”

Merlin began to tug on the sheet to get Arthur moving. “You have a busy day ahead of you, Arthur. The knights are already waiting for their training and you have a counsel with the king afterwards.”

Arthur rolled onto his back, arms behind his head, sheet low at his waist. There was an obvious tent of morning wood and he was shamelessly presented himself as an invitation. “You sure you didn’t want a taste of _this_ this morning? Not even a _lick_?”

Merlin fought with himself to stay calm. There was no denying that to Arthur it was merely casual shagging but to him, it meant everything to be with the man he loved. He did crave for one last lovemaking. He needed to feel Arthur move inside of him, thrusting into him, kissed him deeply, desired for Arthur to hold him securely in his arms like he never wanted to let go.

He wanted to have it all one last time but he couldn’t risk Arthur spotting the small bump. 

“I’m already terribly late to even have breakfast but be here when I return at noon, alright? I want us to have lunch together.” Arthur stood in front of Merlin, one hand on the manservant’s waist while the other cupping his cheek affectionately. “I heard cook is making honey cake today. You _love_ honey cake, don’t you?”

“My favorite.” Merlin responded, voice tight.

Arthur smiled brightly and Merlin watched him getting ready for the day, imprinting the stunning smile. Last night’s recollections were still fresh on his mind, acutely wounded him but he couldn’t make himself mad at Arthur or Gwen. What happened last night only made him realize the cold, hard truth of his life. He had been living in a fantasy, a beautiful world that wasn’t meant for a peasant like him. He did love Arthur but couldn’t force Arthur to feel the same. Arthur loved another and who was he to step in the way and destroy their happiness?”

Merlin instinctively placed a hand on his abdomen. He was carrying Arthur’s baby, a child that was growing inside of him. Despite the fact that the prince had bedded him, impregnated him, they could go no further than this. His life would soon begin to change and he would be all alone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m emotionally wrecked 😭
> 
> Thanks for the comments. They truly helped my muse running 😊


	11. That dollop head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta’d
> 
> Thanks for still reading 😘

“ _Merlin!_ ” Arthur’s piercing voice made everything that Gaius own shook dangerously on their shelves as he stormed into the physician’s chambers.

Gaius instantly stopped his task. “What is it, Sire?”

Arthur was in a foul mood. Merlin hadn’t woken him up that morning and as a result, he had overslept and had missed his meeting with his father and fellow noblemen, and thus had been chastised by his father because of it. The king’s rambling had been tedious and drawn out and he had fought his hardest not to fall back asleep midsentence.

He also hadn’t had his breakfast. With all the _workout_ he had been doing in bed with Merlin last night, he was beyond hungry. Merlin had been on his hands and knees and it had taken all of his willpower not to pound heartily inside of his lover. It had been a deliberate, chaste lovemaking as per Merlin’s request which he had wholeheartedly complied.

He should know better that Merlin would be taking advantage on his generosity. Being late was one thing but didn’t come at all was downright unacceptable.

So basically, it was all Merlin’s fault and his manservant had some serious explanations to do. “Where is that dollop head?! Merlin!”

“Merlin’s not here, Sire.” Gaius eyed the prince suspiciously. “He didn’t come home last night and I haven’t seen him at all this morning. I thought he was with you?”

“No, he’s _not_.” Arthur gritted his teeth, irritated for two reasons now. One, it seemed even Gaius didn’t know where Merlin currently was, and second, the half-wit _did_ tell Gaius about them and it was somewhat expected yet disturbed at the same time. “He wasn’t around ever since I woke up this morning! It appeared like _someone_ has forgotten he has a prince to serve!”

“Have you checked the armory?” Gaius suggested.

“I’ve done that.” Arthur straightforwardly answered.

“And the stables?” Gaius queried.

“No sign of him.” Arthur responded.

“What about the tavern?” Gaius guessed.

“He’s not there.” Arthur huffed.

“Where else could he be?” Gaius was frowning.

“You tell me!” Arthur barked, unable to control his anger any longer.

“When did you last see him, my Lord?” Gaius asked steadily, unaffected by the prince’s wrath.

“Last night! And right now, I have a council session to attend to! Does he expect me to dress myself?!” Arthur yanked a fistful of his tunic to make a point.

 _“You’re a prat. And a royal one.”_ Arthur spun around when he heard it, surprised. He could’ve sworn Merlin was right next to him. Merlin had said it countless of times before and he had uttered the same words last night when Arthur had tried to snuggle him. Even though Merlin had refused to be snuggled, Arthur still did it anyway and prompted those words to be said.

 _“No matter what happens, I promise you everything will be alright.”_ The memory of last night assaulted Arthur again. Merlin had been acting weird yesterday, _extra_ weird in comparison to the past few weeks. He barely smiled and even when he did, it didn’t seem genuine. It seemed forced and there was also sadness in his eyes.

He knew he had pushed Merlin more than necessary lately but he had to keep up a pretense in front of everyone that Merlin was nothing but a mere servant to him. He couldn’t risk his father or the rest of the noblemen found out what Merlin truly meant to him.

His no-nonsense pretense was also a part of his grant surprise. With Guinevere’s help, he had planned something _extraordinary_ for Merlin. It was more than a picnic, more than a horse ride. It was just waiting for the right time to execute it.

 _“I’m happy to be your servant. Till the day I die.”_ Merlin’s words didn’t make any sense last night and Arthur had confronted him about it but Merlin had simply kissed him then, chaste and keen and he had melted into the pouring love.

Arthur’s anger and confusion instantaneously faded and was replaced by something akin to horror when he finally grasped it.

Merlin was saying goodbye.

_Again._

“ _Merlin!_ ” Arthur dashed into Merlin’s private chambers, heart pounding. “No, no, no, no, no…”

“Sire?” Gaius gingerly went after the prince.

Arthur froze right at the entrance. He already knew Merlin was not there by heart but the confirmation sight of the empty, unnaturally clean and tidy room was like a poisoned arrow to the heart. “Merlin…”

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

“He’s not in Ealdor, Sire.” Percival looked somber to bear the bad news. “We have scoured the nearby village as well but—”

“Scour it again.” Arthur and his most trusted and loyal knights were there gathered in his room together with Gaius and Guinevere. All of them appeared equally distraught. He had hoped his knights would give him good news, that Merlin had been found at last, that he was indeed in Ealdor. It was the only place he could think of. To say he was disappointed by their lack of findings would be an understatement.

“Sire, there’s no sign of Merlin anywhere.” Leon stepped forward, just a step further than where Percival was standing. “The longer we stay in Cenred’s realm, the higher our chances to be caught by his men. Going to Ealdor is risky enough as it is.”

“Nobody there had seen Merlin for quite some time now. We had checked every hut to be sure.” Percival added.

“You _raid_ their houses?” Elyan interrupted, taken aback.

“We asked _politely_ and they were happy to help us.” Leon answered. “Though we _might_ have scare Hunith by coming there to search for her son, my Lord. She wanted answers. She had been very distressed when we left.”

“I wouldn’t blame her for wanting an answer on her own son’s wellbeing.” Gwaine’s rough voice reverberated in Arthur’s chambers. “She certainly thought Merlin would be safe, _safest_ in fact, under the royals’ protection but looked what happened? It was the _princess_ himself who caused this.”

“ _Gwaine_ …” Lancelot grabbed Gwaine’s arm, giving him a cautionary warning.

“What did you do, princess, huh?” Gwaine yanked his arm from Lancelot’s grip. “What did you do to poor Merlin that forced him to leave? He had sacrificed everything for you and this is what he gets in return?! If you had hurt him—”

“Gwaine!” Leon warned.

Gwaine advanced toward Arthur, completely ignoring Leon’s warning altogether. “Merlin wasn’t captured by the enemy. He _left_ at his own will. He literally packed his stuff and went away. Something must have happened between him and Arthur, and I want to know _what_.”

Lancelot shared a secretive look with Gaius since only them knew about Merlin’s secret. “Perhaps Merlin’s still within Camelot’s border?”

Arthur unheeded Lancelot’s attempt for a peaceful discussion. He scowled at Gwaine, gritting his teeth and feeling unthreatened at all by the knight’s menace. He didn’t even get up from his seat to tower over Gwaine. Gwaine thought _he_ knew Merlin better than himself? What a blasphemous thought. _He_ shared his bed with Merlin night after night, not the knight. It was his _name_ Merlin breathlessly uttered when he came. Merlin was _his_. “It isn’t your place to ask me anything, Sir Gwaine.”

“You don’t deserve him.” Gwaine ultimately said and promptly left the prince’s chambers.

“I’ll search near the Mercia‘s border at dawn tomorrow.” Elyan volunteered, to stop Arthur from glaring at the closed door.

“No, expand your quest to Caerleon’s kingdom.” Arthur instructed, receiving horror looks from the knights, including Guinevere and Gaius. They must think he had lost his mind. Honestly, he probably had. Two weeks without knowing Merlin’s whereabouts had been an unimaginable agony to him.

“I don’t think that is wise.” Gwen objected without hesitation.

“Caerleon is not our ally, Sire.” Gaius supplemented. “Unlike Cenred, Caerleon’s army is well trained.”

“And I have the best knights of Camelot right here.” Arthur left no room for disagreement. “It has been two weeks. I want Merlin found. Ride to Caerleon tomorrow at first sunlight.”

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

“It’s a _hunt_!” Arthur argued, borderline shouting. “With my knights like I always do!”

Uther signed one of the scrolls scattered in front of him without looking at Arthur. “No.”

Arthur clenched his fingers. “Since when am I _forbidden_ to go out for a hunt?”

Uther finally looked up. “Since I know you’re not really going for a hunt but to search for that manservant of yours.”

Arthur paled but he recovered quickly, not wanting to be caught by his father. He had been humiliated enough at the front gate when the guards barred him from leaving the citadel. No amount of shouting or tantrum had succeeded letting him pass through. He had to deal it with his father. “I don’t care about him at all, Father. If I did, why did I wait for four months before searching for him?”

“It’s undoubtedly because your knights have failed to locate him and you’ve decided to take things in your own hands.” Uther casually stated.

Arthur bit his lower lip, desperate to think of a lie that would set him free and get out of the castle. He was a _desperate_ man. He desperately needed to find his Merlin. Nobody knew where he was. Nobody even had a clue. Four months was a long time to keep on waiting. Four months was a long time to keep on hoping. He was losing his sanity without Merlin by his side. He had missed Merlin as his manservant, as his friend, as his lover. He longed to hear Merlin’s voice and laughter, the way he smiled with his eyes, the sense of belonging he felt when his arms were wrapped securely around the man.

Despite all that he couldn’t risk sending his men to enemies’ kingdoms anymore. Not when Lancelot was hurt by one of Cendred’s men. Lancelot had been disguised as a farmer and yet he was still attacked. Cendred and his army were truly ruthless. He also had sent a letter to Hunith, to stop her from worrying but he knew it wasn’t enough. Just as it wasn’t enough for him to hear assurances from his friends that Merlin was fine without any proof that he truly was.

“You’re oddly fond of the boy, Arthur…which is understandable to me considering he’s also your bedwarmer. You’re not the first nobleman to be too attached to their wench.” Uther said as he went back to his scrolls. “But above all, he’s still just a _servant_.”

Arthur was rendered speechless once more. His father had known he had been bedding Merlin all this time and didn’t say anything? Wasn’t relation with men were frowned upon? “You knew?”

Uther nodded. “I don’t care who you sleep with, Arthur, as long as it doesn’t lead into something more serious. You have given me enough headache with your previous affairs to last a lifetime, especially with that maidservant. I’m glad that is over. At least by bedding your own manservant I won’t have to worry you impregnating him and conceiving a bastard. You are to marry a princess someday and I don’t want anything that can _ruin_ your reputation.”

Knowing his secret was out in the open, Arthur had no reason to lie anymore. “Father, let me find Merlin. I won’t…I won’t ask you for anything else for the rest of my life.”

“Absolutely no.” Uther remained unmoved. “My decision is final, Arthur.”

“Father, please…” Arthur beseeched.

“A prince does not _beg_ , Arthur!” Uther had lost his temper. “What has gotten into you?! All of this for a servant? I had overlooked the fact that you’ve asked your _knights_ to search for him but that’s it. I won’t allow my own Crown Prince to wander around the enemy territories just to search for his bumbling manservant!”

“Merlin had saved me several times before. Let me return the favor.” Arthur lowered down his ego for Merlin’s sake.

“Your life is irreplaceable, his _isn’t_.” Uther said without any ounce of sympathy. “He left months ago. He might be dead already.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merlin’s not in Ealdor. Where else could he be? 😲
> 
> Is Gwaine no longer one of Arthur’s trusted and loyal knights? 😢
> 
> I wonder how Uther will react when he eventually finds out his golden son has indeed impregnated his manservant ‘cause of sorcery and that child is a bastard? 😏
> 
> In canon, do you think Arthur is a hot-tempered person? He’s always the dutiful son to his father, rather respectful to Gaius, affectionate to Gwen, totally tolerable toward his knights even the ones who aren’t noble. But when it comes to Merlin, he can’t seem to control his wrath. Does it mean Arthur’s true self is when he’s with Merlin? What do you think? Canon-wise? 😊


	12. Far too long as it is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta’d.
> 
> Your support means everything to me 😘

“You’re leaving?” Hunith’s bewilderment was apparent.

Merlin hated making his mother sad. “I have to. This is the first place Arthur will come looking up for me.”

Hunith tugged on Merlin’s sleeve. “But you just got here.”

Merlin gawped at his mother remorsefully. He _wanted_ to stay in Ealdor with his mother. This was the only place where he truly felt safe but he wasn’t in the liberty to do so, not if he wanted to escape from Arthur. If Arthur did come searching for him, galloping on his horse, it would be in a matter of _hours_ till he arrived. “I’ve been here far too long as it is.”

“Where would you go?” Hunith voiced out her concerns as a mother. “You’re carrying a babe, Merlin. You need to be somewhere safe and someone to take care of you.”

“I’ll think of something.” Merlin haphazardly shoved his belongings into his small bag. His tunics, breeches and neckerchief had been pushed deep inside the confined space. Wherever he was going, he was going to need everything he ever owned.

Hunith grabbed a white tunic from the small cot as Merlin busied himself with packing. It clearly didn’t belong to her son. It was too big to be Merlin’s. “I understand you’re scared, Merlin…I was too, when I found out I was carrying you. My husband was long gone by then and I was all alone.”

Merlin stopped his task. “Mother…”

“Balinor was a good man and I have no doubt he’d be a good father if he had known about you.” Hunith folded the tunic neatly. “And I know for a certain Arthur will be too.”

Merlin’s gaze darted to the cloth in Hunith’s hand. It was Arthur’s infamous white tunic. The one Arthur constantly wore at night as he prepared for bed, when all his duties as the Crown Prince had been done for the day. It remained stark white and posh, and so _unbefitting_ in the tiny hut which Merlin called home.  
  
He had stolen it from the royal chambers the night he left. Arthur was fast asleep, exhausted from his duties in the day and fully satisfied from their lovemaking. He had simply seized it from the floor when he was done getting dressed, wanting to keep something that belonged to Arthur to remember him by. He had been clutching the tunic at night when he was sleeping all the while he was in Ealdor. It brought a sense of comfort to him. He had thought he had been subtle about having it in his possession but apparently not.

“I owe you an apology for not telling you the truth about your father. I carry a deep regret with me that Balinor didn’t get to know his own son until the very last hours of his life.” Hunith tenderly place the garment on Merlin’s hands. “I don’t want you to repeat the same mistakes as I did, Merlin.”

“It isn’t the same, Mother.” Merlin said quietly.

“You better than anyone else know what it feels like growing up without a father. Are you willing to do the same to this child of yours? To Arthur?” Hunith affectionately cupped Merlin’s face. “There are some secrets you cannot keep forever, Merlin.”

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

“I didn’t order this.” Merlin enquired with mouth full of food as a flagon of mead was placed in front of him.

“On me. My treat.” The man smiled at Merlin. He was visibly kind of old. Older than Merlin but definitely younger than Uther.

“Uh, thank you?” Merlin said hesitantly, which brought a brighter smile on the man’s face. “But I don’t drink.”

“Huh.” The man’s smile dimmed as his eyes conspicuously stared at Merlin’s abdomen, undoubtedly judging the small bump as a beer belly. Men did tend to sport one from their drinking habit. “Your belly said otherwise.”

“Well…” Merlin hastily swallowed the bacons he was eating, thinking of a rational lie.

He had been eating peacefully, all by himself when the man approached. The people at the tavern had changed a bit from the last time he had been there with Arthur when they were searching for his father, the dragonlord. It had been a hostile environment back then with angry-looking men with scars on their faces compared to now. He didn’t want to cause any trouble but he wasn’t interested to keep up the conversation either. He just wanted to be left alone, attending to his cravings.

He normally wasn’t into greasy meal like this, opted for simple porridge or fruits but his pregnancy cravings were very unpredicted. He could be into bacons at the moment and then hating it next. While the time he had been living in the castle he had loathed the cook’s cooking but last night he had been longing for Camelot’s kitchen’s dumplings. Just the thought of it made him _drool_.

“I eat a lot.” Merlin concluded.

“Yeah, I can see that. We’re out of bacon supply.” The man’s smile was back and without an invitation slid onto the bench next to Merlin. “I’m Tristan.”

“Hello.” Merlin kept it minimal.

“You’re not going to tell me your name?” Merlin’s lack of reaction made Tristan laugh.

Merlin crinkled his nose. “Nah.”

Tristan grinned. “Playing hard to get, aren’t ya? I saw you _ogling_ me the moment you stepped inside this place.”

Merlin blinked, surprised for being caught. It seemed that subtlety had failed him once more. He _had_ been staring but it was all because he missed Arthur too damn much and the man’s blonde hair and blue eyes reminded him of his prince and he was the only person in the tavern that carry the resemblance. Certainly the sight of the man would catch his attention.

Arthur was far more handsome than Tristan, of course, but the sense of longing was there ever since he left Camelot two weeks ago. He didn’t expect the man to notice let alone having become interested. Same sex relationship was a bizarre occurrence and frowned upon by most _especially_ someplace far from the town like this. He felt an unwanted thrill coursed through him instantly. Pregnancy had also made him irresistibly horny and it had the very intention to overpower him at the moment.

He _needed_ to get away before he did something he might regret. He wasn’t stupid but he wasn’t a _saint_ either.

A hard kick from within his womb was an obvious confirmation that it _really_ wasn’t a good idea.

“I got to go.” Merlin began to stand, no more desired to finish his pieces of bacon, but a rough hand caught his wrist.

“I would like you to stay.” Tristan said, no longer playful nor smiling.

“I don’t think so.” Merlin narrowed his eyes at the hand gripping him in an attempt to give him a jolt of burning sensation. His eyes glowed gold and Tristan was instantaneously screaming.

Merlin felt another rough kick from his child and to his horror, Tristan’s skin began to sizzle, blistering like it had been deep fried. Without further ado, he quickly left and didn’t look back.

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

“Ugh, you _are_ Arthur’s child.” Merlin got one hand supporting the underside of his over eight months pregnant belly while the other pressed on the cold stone, waddling carefully as he made his way out of the cave’s entrance. “You’re becoming an insufferable prat just like he is.”

“You love to kick me, you love to bother me, and you certainly _love_ to make my life miserable.” Merlin grumbled. His sleep was disturbed hence, he had every _right_ to be crossed.

“Can’t you wait till morning? Dawn is approaching.” Merlin gingerly stepped onto the slippery rock to avoid the cold water beneath. The blanket he had with him was too thin to save him from freezing to death if he ever fell into the stream.

The baby somersaulted inside of Merlin, pressing harder onto his bladder in response. As he was near his due date, the kicking had been quite a lot lately. The child was notoriously energetic. Merlin liked to think that his child could hear him and had been reacting to his every word. It made him feel less lonely even though he was alone. Hence, he had spent all his time talking without receiving any verbal comeback in return.

What irked him was that the baby was only active at night and would be awfully dormant in the day. His sleep pattern was all over the place by now. He just glad he didn’t have any important chores to perform anymore.

“I need my beauty sleep.” Merlin groaned as he made his way to one of the biggest trees, far enough from the stream. “I take it back. You’re _worse_ than Arthur. Even though he liked to run me dry in the day, at least he’d let me sleep peacefully at night. Unlike _you_.”

“I’m starting to think you’re punishing me for leaving Camelot, for taking you away from your father. Just so you know, magic or not, I’m not going to forgive your dearest father for knocking me up with his stupid, potent seed.” Merlin babbled as he relieved himself behind the tree. “And it isn’t my fault I had to run either. I’m doing this for you. I’m saving us from your evil Grandpa Uther.”

“You should be thankful it is _me_ that is carrying you instead of that prat prince. I’m more loving, more compassionate and more tolerating than him. You think he’ll ever forgive you for waking him up ever damn _hour_ just to pee?” Merlin pulled up his breeches when he was done. The ill-fitted clothing was hanging dangerously loose on his body. Since the night in the tavern, his magic had become thoroughly haywire. Every time he used his magic, the result would be something he didn’t expect. It would heighten up a notch, causing an unpredictable outcome even for some _mundane_ task like altering the size of his tunic and breeches.

“So, you better _behave_ or I’ll drop you off at someone else’s home instead of your Grandma Hunith after you are born.” Merlin waddled back toward the cave, looking haggard.

“A few weeks more and you’ll be out of me and my insides won’t be bruised ever again. I can’t—” The sound of broken branch made Merlin stop midsentence. The place was secluded, nobody should be there for whatever reason. Even the birds shouldn’t be awake at this hour. He had chosen it because Balinor had managed to stay there for years without being disturbed by anyone in the first place.

There was another snapping of twigs and Merlin’s heart began to race as a silhouette began to appear, approaching him. He protectively shielded his stomach from the imminent threat. “W-Who’s there?”

“Hello, Merlin…” The silhouette said.

Merlin immediately blanched when the shadow materialized. “Arthur…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The timeline for this chapter is somewhat proportional with Chapter 11. The original plan was to straightforwardly reunite Arthur and Merlin, but then your comments give me a better idea so voila! ❤️
> 
> So, what’s next? Fluff or angst? You choose 😘


	13. Hell on Earth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta’d.

Merlin didn’t even get the chance to react let alone flee when Arthur jumped from the high terrain and skipped over the small stream’s rocks to get to Merlin. His movement was hasty and lack of caution, and for a moment he seemed to have lost his footing but then quickly and gracefully regained his balance. His steps were on purpose and in seconds, the pregnant warlock was enveloped by the prince’s strong arms.

“I found you.” Arthur breathed, thoroughly happy. “After all these months, I finally found you.”

“I’ve been searching for you everywhere. I thought…I thought I had lost you forever.” Arthur’s embrace was comforting but Merlin didn’t reply, didn’t even return the hug. His hands were limp by his side while Arthur squeezed the life out of him in his hold.

“I was out of my mind trying to find you, not knowing if you’re alright, whether you’re still alive and well.” Arthur kissed the side of Merlin’s head, seeking his own comfort. The sense of smell of something purely Merlin brought much needed assurance that he didn’t know exist or possible before.

“ _Four months_, Merlin. I was in hell on Earth.” Arthur admonished weakly, without loosening his grip. “I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t focus during training…I miss you too much to function.”

“Why did you leave, Merlin?” A tinge of hurt could be heard and Arthur began to pull back to look at his long-lost love. Now that he could physically feel Merlin was finally there with him, he needed to see the man. He needed answers and he needed to make certain Merlin wouldn’t lie to him.  “I was—” 

Arthur blinked, flabbergasted, finally meticulously looking at Merlin. There was something incredibly _different_ about Merlin. He kind of looked exactly the same except for the fact that he was also noticeably chubbier, more so than when he last saw his manservant all those months ago. He didn’t realize Merlin could get plumper and cuter and downright _irresistible_. Amazingly, despite the weight gain especially around the face, Merlin’s cheekbones were remained as sharp as ever.

Arthur’s eyes slowly flickered down to Merlin’s abdomen, there was a powerful pull for him to do so and his gaze stuck there, with a deep frown on his face, trying to comprehend what _exactly_ the bulge was and why it was even there. It was big and protruding and so out of place on Merlin’s physique. Merlin couldn’t have indulged and devoured food that much, could he? In a place like this? He doubted there were people selling honey cakes nearby. But that wasn’t the case.

Something was not right.

“Have you gotten fat?” Arthur blurted, decided to go for it instead of stuffing his brain with unanswered questions. It was the only logical explanation for what he was seeing. There was no other reason for Merlin to become _bloated_ like this, like he had drunk dozen flagon of mead.

“Arthur…” Merlin at last spoke as he stood there, few feet away, frozen still. He tried to appear indifferent but Arthur could see he was struggling to remain calm. There was a haunted look in his eyes. 

“Merlin, what’s wrong?” Arthur closed their distance, worried. 

“Arthur, I’m sorry for leaving Camelot, for leaving you without even a goodbye. Please believe me when I say it was the hardest thing for me to do. I didn’t want to leave but I have no other choice.” Merlin said, trembling. “I needed to be someplace safe and Camelot…Camelot— I didn’t feel safe in Camelot. I need to protect myself.”

Arthur was frowning. “What are you talking about?”

Merlin took a deep breath, looking at Arthur straight in the eyes. “Arthur, I’m pregnant.” 

 **~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**  

“No.” Arthur shook his head in denial, his previously steady feet skidded a step backward in shock.

“Arthur…” Merlin said softly. “I’m not making this up.” 

“Don’t be _ridiculous_ , _Mer_ lin.” Arthur glowered at the man before him, focusing on Merlin’s face and pointedly avoiding looking at his stomach. “This is _stupid_! W-why would you say that?! You…You _can’t_ be pregnant! You’re a _man_!”

Merlin swallowed the lump in his throat. “Morgana’s enchan—”

Arthur was still scowling. “Morgana is malevolent and deviousbut it’s not— this is— no…it can’t be true. It’s _impossible_.”

Merlin took a step closer. “Arthur…”

Arthur rigorously shook his head. “You’re just podgy. That’s…That’s the only explanation.” 

“Morgana’s spell gave me the ability to bear a babe.” Merlin cut Arthur off, exhaustively sighing. “I really am pregnant, Arthur…and the child is yours.” 

“Are you even listening to yourself?! How _absurd_ you sound?!” Arthur’s voice became louder. “There is _no way_ you’re pregnant!”

“We have sex, Arthur. We’re constantly _shagging_.” Merlin bit back. “Or do you want me to explain to you how it works, how babies are made? You couldn’t be that _thic k_, could you?”

“It could only happen if you’re a _woman_ , _Mer lin_, and you _aren’_ _t_ one!” Arthur gritted his teeth. This wasn’t what he had imagined when he finally reunited with Merlin. He had thought it would be filled with declarations of love, and a lot of hugging and kissing. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. They shouldn’t be screaming at one another like this but he was too frustrated to acknowledge Merlin’s absurdity and to tend his own anger. “I’m pretty certain you don’t have the fucking _bits_ to be a _goddamn woman_! _I_ would know!”

“Magic—” Merlin tried to say.

“No.” Arthur couldn’t manage anything more than that word, his mind unable to process what he was seeing and hearing.

“Morgana’s spell caused this, it is intended.” Merlin said rather harshly. “No matter what you say or what you do, whether you want to believe it or not, you can’t change the fact that it is what it is. It’s happening and it is real.”

“You should’ve told me that Morgana had done something to you! I would’ve figured something out and all of this nonsense could be avoided and you wouldn’t say something foolish and utterly unthinkable like this! But no, your idiot self ran away instead!” Arthur fought the urge to pull his hair and from strangling Merlin because the other man really didn’t make any sense. It was completely insane.

“I didn’t tell you because I know you’ll be reacting like this, that’s why! Why is it so hard for you to accept this?! You yourself were born of magic and—” Merlin stopped midsentence, putting a hand over his mouth in horror.

Arthur flinched. “What did you say?”

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

Merlin eyed the untouched plate of boiled potato and apple mush. “Arthur, you need to eat. You hadn’t eaten anything since morning.”

The sun had been replaced with a moon and though they had retrieved into the cave together for shelter for the night, Arthur had kept his distance from Merlin. The betrayal he felt was the _worst_ he had ever felt in his life. He had trusted Merlin, he was his confidant, even long before they became intimate. Merlin knew how much he loved his late mother, Merlin was there with him in that deserted castle when Morgause had conjured his mother up, Merlin had been the one who had stopped him from killing his father, had convinced him that Morgause had been deceiving him about his mother’s death so that he would turn against his father and Camelot would fall.

And to find out that it was all _lies_? That his father truly had done it and Merlin as well as Gaius had been hiding it from him all along just to protect the king? That _Morgause_ was actually telling the truth?

Arthur Pendragon was born of magic.

His father, the King of Camelot had desperately used magic to get an heir even if it meant sacrificing his own Queen, Arthur’s mother.

He was _born_ of magic.

“Arthur…” Merlin coaxed but Arthur refused to look at him. “Arthur, please say something.”

“Get rid of it.” Arthur stated coldly. 

“Wh-What?” Merlin stammered.

“Get rid of _it_.” Arthur’s voice as cold as before as he deliberately glared at Merlin’s abdomen.

“You can’t mean that.” Merlin’s hands spontaneously went to his swollen stomach to protect it.

As the moonlight illuminating his figure, Merlin looked defensive yet somehow glowing in what most definitely to be Arthur’s mysteriously disappeared white tunic and he was finally able to see just how much his manservant had changed. His bizarre appetite back in Camelot, his startling mood swings, his habits, the unexplainable yet much appreciated plumpness; it all made sense now.

Merlin really was _pregnant_.

With _his_ child.

Because of _magic_.

History had repeated itself.

“I meant it.” Arthur growled. He knew someday he would need an heir to continue the Pendragon’s legacy but he wasn’t his father. He wouldn’t let Merlin perish for something cynical like this. “There have to be some herb that you could take to—”

“How could you say something that?!” Merlin’s scream tore the cocooned of the once quiet clearing. “I’m not going to kill an innocent life just because you asked me to!”

“I’m the prince, Merlin. You have to do as you are told.” It was a low blow, using Merlin’s loyalty to the crown and Camelot like that but Arthur had no other choice. He would _not_ let Merlin go through with it.

“I’m no longer in your service, Arthur. I had made that clear when I left Camelot. I have chosen this child over Camelot, over you.” Merlin stated brokenly.

Arthur gripped Merlin’s shoulders tightly, having half-thought to shake the other man and made him see the fault. “That thing is an abomination! _Cursed_!” 

“This is _our_ child!” Tears welled in Merlin’s eyes. His hands were still covering his protruding stomach to shield the unborn life from the prince. “I don’t know what Morgana’s plan is, why is she doing this to us but it doesn’t change the fact that this baby is ours! Morgana’s magic might have caused this but it is _us_ who had done the deed! We _created_ this life together! It’s a blessing, Arthur!”

“A _blessing_?! How can you decide something from Morgana’s doing as a blessing?!” Arthur was fuming. “Don’t be an _idiot_ , Merlin! It’s a curse waiting to be unleashed!” 

Merlin yanked Arthur’s hand and deliberately put it on his belly. The prince tried to snatch his hand back but his manservant held on firmly. “Feel that! _That_ is your child kicking. Our child’s growing each day, Arthur, and he or she will be here soon enough. I need you, Arthur. I can’t do this alone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think gonna happen next? Will Arthur accept the child, or will he still refused? 😢
> 
> Do you think Merlin’s gonna give birth normally? Or does he need magic to help him? 😔
> 
> Breastfeeding...yes or no? 😬


	14. To be born this way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta’d
> 
> This is the longest, the smuttiest and the hardest chapter I’ve written by far 😌

Arthur’s expression was unreadable as he felt the movement from within Merlin’s womb. “I’m so sorry.”

Merlin gaped at Arthur, placing a hand on top of the prince. He knew it was a lot for Arthur to take in. He himself had taken _months_ just to grasp the truth. There were things that he could do to end this before it became a real problem and he could do it safely because of his magic but in the end he decided against it. He would have the child and raise it. “Arthur, you have nothing to be sorry for.” 

Arthur shook his head. “You’ve been pulled into this mess because of _me_ , because of my family. My sister’s grudge falls on you because I _dare_ to love you and Morgana’s perceptive enough to notice it…and it had brought this dire outcome.”

“You’re not to blame, Arthur. None of us had anticipated this to happen.” Merlin squeezed Arthur’s hand, still resting on his belly. “But hating on this innocent life, who doesn’t even ask to be born this way, denying his or her mere existence in this world is not the key.”

“You think I _hate_ the child?” Tears welled in Arthur’s eyes. “I want this baby as much as you do.” 

“You do?” There were flutters of happiness in Merlin’s chest hearing Arthur’s confession. A seed of hope began to plant.

“It was my wishful thinking to have a family with you, Merlin. It was daunting and the craziest, wildest parts of my imagination could ever have conceived it. I knew we were both men and it was impossible to create a life together but I couldn’t help it.” Arthur offered Merlin a small smile, eyes glistening. “I’ve always known since I was just a babe myself that I need to produce heirs someday, that I need to marry some princess to continue the Pendragon’s reign in Camelot. Whether I like it or not, whether I love the person I’m marrying doesn’t matter in the slightest because it is my _duty_. It is my burden to bear as I serve my people and my kingdom. I have made peace with it a long time ago.”

“But then…I fell in love with you.” A single tear slipped onto Arthur’s cheek. “And I fell in love with the idea of having a family with you and it doesn’t feel like a burden anymore.”

“Arthur…” Merlin on the other hand was already openly crying. His face wet and blotched. Revealing the pregnancy to Arthur had been one of the hardest things he had done in his life. His world had been surrounded with fear of the unknown for the future ever since he found out he was pregnant. He didn’t feel the same sense of cautious urgency when it came to hiding his magic because the punishment would solely fall on him if he were ever to be caught. This pregnancy however, there was another life at stake, his own child’s life was in danger.

“But I’m _not_ my father.” Arthur solemnly said, pulling back his hand from Merlin’s belly. “As much as it pains me, I can’t let you go through with this.”

“Arthur, no.” Dread filled up Merlin’s every core in an instant. The seed he had just planted moments ago started to crumble on its own. If Arthur truly wanted this baby, he wouldn’t have reacted this way.

“You’re quickening with a babe because an act of _sorcery_ …just like my mother! I cannot bear the thought that you’d die because of me!” Arthur screamed, letting it all out.

Merlin tensed by Arthur’s side. “Arthur…”

Arthur stared at Merlin, his eyes oddly pleading. “I can’t lose you the way I lost my mother, Merlin. I refused to let that happen. Please, Merlin…” 

Merlin affectionately cupped Arthur’s face. “You aren’t going to lose me.”

Arthur shook his head, refusing to take Merlin’s words. “My mother died giving birth to me. I won’t let you sacrifice yourself like she did.”

“Everything’s going to be alright, Arthur. You _aren’t_ going to lose me.” Merlin whispered. “I’m fully prepared for this. Gaius had taught me everything I need to know to survive the pregnancy and the birth. We had taken into measures everything that is possible and what happened to your mother _won’t_ be happening to me.”

Arthur squeezed his eyes shut as if he tried to escape the reality. “If I lose you…”

Merlin kissed Arthur’s forehead. “You won’t.”

** ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ **

“Mhmm…Merlin?” Arthur croaked, opening his eyes. 

“Hi.” Merlin said innocently. 

“What are you doing?” Arthur lifted his head up a bit, mind still groggy but there was a sense of pleasure coursing through his body.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Merlin met Arthur’s eyes, his mouth in a musing, breathless smile as his body gently bounced on top of the prince.

“Oh—” Arthur who was barely conscious seconds ago woken up immediately as Merlin plunged onto his cock. The sensation of Merlin’s heat surrounding him, hugging his every nerve was indescribable.

“ _Merlin_ …” Arthur gasped as Merlin’s body swallowed his length up eagerly. His hands move to Merlin’s waist, gripping him harshly so that he could meet his thrusts.

“Ahhh, Arthur…I…I missed you.” Merlin shut his eyes, throwing his head back as he felt the familiar tingle again. It rose rapidly, this time with Arthur fervently rubbing against a familiar spot with his firm rod of flesh inside him.

Merlin mimicked ocean waves with his hips rolling together, finding the appeal in dragging his pleasure out for as long as possible. The cave was filled with moans and groans and the sound of their joined bodies meeting one another. He was able to hear each other’s voices intimately, understanding in his and Arthur’s shared language of pleasure that their climaxes were imminent.   

The look of unbridled lust on Merlin’s face was a sight to behold as Arthur held his hips down and glided in and out of his hole. His flesh felt incredible in his hands and on his cock. Grunting, Arthur slammed home and home again. Merlin was his home and this time with a beautiful round, distended bump that reminded him of their deep and passionate love for one another. Arthur groaned as his cock grew even harder at the thought. 

Any other time, Arthur would have mercilessly pound away at Merlin, rattling his bones and bruising his skin from how hard he grasped his pale flesh. But when he was now carrying a new life inside that was due to be born any day now, circumstances naturally changed. Arthur’s lustful desire to devastate him with his cock was still there but the prince’s heartfelt wish to guard him and his child no matter what trumped it easily. 

“Take this off.” Arthur pawed at the offending tunic Merlin was wearing. “I want to see every inch of you.” 

“A-Alright.” Merlin said anxiously, halting his movement as he gingerly pulled Arthur’s white tunic over his head. He was nervous. Arthur had never seen his naked pregnant body yet. What if he hated it? What if he didn’t feel attracted while he was pregnant? His body had changed a lot in such as short period. His body was now completely different from _anything_ Arthur had seen in such a long time. 

Arthur gawped at Merlin in awe, his blue eyes shining and lips parted open. “You look…you look absolutely _mesmerizing_.”

Arthur wrapped his arms around Merlin’s upper body and gently flipped them, reversing their position with his cock dutifully stayed seated inside of the pregnant man. Merlin arched, gasping at the exquisite friction Arthur’s cock inadvertently gave when he moved on top. He comfortably lied down as much as he could on the rough stone and Arthur’s lips were soon on him, kissing his jaw and neck slowly. Merlin closed his eyes as he soaked in the feelings. He was incredibly sensitive now, something that came with the pregnancy that got him all over the place and easily turned on. 

“ _Arthur_ …” Merlin whined when Arthur gave his collarbone a soft bite.

Gently, Arthur’s lips traveled downward and wrapped around Merlin’s nipple and he sucked ever so slowly, knowing from experience how much Merlin liked it. As if on cue, Merlin gasped from all the pleasure and he could feel arousal pouring from inside him and before he could say anything or even let out another moan, something left his tiny nub and wetted Arthur’s lips, causing the prince to jerk away hastily, eyes wide. 

“I uh…uhm…I’m also lactating.” Merlin said sheepishly. His face became redder and redder as he spoke. “Would you like a taste?”

Arthur stared into his manservant’s eyes intensely and without a single word, he followed to wrap his lips around Merlin’s nub once again and _sucked_ it. The prince moaned deeply when milk touched his tongue as his hand grabbed Merlin’s other breast and massaging it, causing the dark-haired man’s jaw to fall open, moaning out loud. 

“A-Arthur…” Merlin groaned and Arthur raised his head to look at his manservant, lips wet and eyes dark with desire. 

Placing a chaste kiss on Merlin’s lips, Arthur pushed the pregnant man’s legs apart with his large hands and began to move. The only thing Merlin could think the moment Arthur started pounding into him was how he _missed_ the stretch of Arthur’s engorged cock inside him. If he wasn’t eight months pregnant, he would have placed his ankles up on Arthur’s shoulder and let himself be folded to feel the prince going as _deep_ as possible.

“So good.” Merlin managed to let out, hiding his face on the crook of Arthur’s neck.

“Can’t believe I survived so long without you.” Arthur grunted, making deep thrusts that took his cock all the way out to the tip before he plunged back to the hilt again. His lips wrapped around Merlin’s nipple again, giving it long sucks that matched his thrusts and Merlin dug his fingers into the skin of his broad shoulders, nails digging into the skin of his back. 

“I missed you…so much, Merlin.” Arthur splayed a hand on Merlin’s protruding belly and in response, the child kicked the exact place of his hand. He chuckled as he continued pounding. “Someone is trying to make their presence known.” 

Merlin simply moaned, tightening his walls around Arthur. The child _really_ loved to kick and it seemed like it had happened often now that Arthur was around. He wished he could pull Arthur closer. He loved to have Arthur’s body pressed against him while they were together but the belly was definitely on the way now. 

Arthur thrust harder, wrapping his fingers around Merlin’s cock. Merlin howled as his pleasure reaching dizzying heights, after so long not being together. A warbled moan built at the base of Arthur’s throat as he came, letting himself go and followed Merlin into pleasure, finding his release inside of Merlin and filling him up. He slowed down as rope after rope of his seed pooled inside of his lover.  

Arthur gently pulled out and fell by Merlin’s side with a low groan and all Merlin wanted to do was to curl in his prince’s arms and drifted to sleep but he couldn’t. Now that the euphoria was gone, the guilt began tugging on his consciousness again. It had been eaten him up ever since he had said it in the first place.

Because he had _lied_ to Arthur.

The promise he made was an empty one. Something he had no say in it but he had done it to assure the man he loved that everything would be alright.  

Soon he would be giving birth to their child and soon he wouldn’t be here anymore.

For the Old Religion had never lied. 

_To create a life, another life must be taken._

** ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ **

“Ugh…” Merlin grumbled as he tried to make himself comfortable while the horse leisurely trotting in the forest. He was sore and his backpain was killing him. He had a new, profound respect for his mother for having to endure this while pregnant with him.  

“What’s wrong?” Arthur tightened his hold on the horse’s leash with his left hand while the other snaked around Merlin’s middle. Arthur was doing a great job in controlling the stallion. Only once in a while allowing it to canter a bit but never galloping away for Merlin’s comfort. 

“What’s _wrong_?” Merlin seethed, craning his head to glare at Arthur. “This child of yours has been using my insides as their target practice! I’m pretty sure half of my ribs are broken.”

“You can’t blame me for what the baby does, Merlin.” Arthur felt a jab against his gloved palm as though the baby was agreeing with him, causing him to chuckle. 

“Oh, I sure as hell can! You’re the child’s father after all.” Merlin who plausibly felt the same jab countered angrily. “Your child has been growing inside of me for the past _eight months_. I suffered through a hell of a morning sickness, my body has changed dramatically, I’m lactating like a freaking woman and you _dare_ say it isn’t your fault?! It seems like your prattiness is hereditary!”

“Stop exaggerating, _Mer_ lin. It can’t be too bad.” Arthur said softly. 

“You try being pregnant yourself and only _then_ you can comment!” Merlin crossly wrenched Arthur’s hand away from his stomach. A hard kick coming from the womb was immediate as if the baby was grumpy for the loss Arthur’s warmth on the belly. 

“Such a girl’s petticoat, Merlin.” Arthur teased, taking back the reign of the horse.

Much to Merlin’s annoyance, the child continued making movements inside of him. It felt like the baby was somersaulting and it made him really achy, more so as he rode on the horse. The journey to Ealdor was a tiring one even though it wasn’t that far. The child did appear more frisky than usual ever since Arthur had arrived roughly a week ago, undoubtedly could sense who Arthur truly was. It could also explain how Arthur managed to find him at the cave, a place so secluded nobody had bothered him for months. According to the prince, he had felt some kind of _pull_ to take the path and mere steps later Arthur had spotted him, talking to himself like a lunatic.

His and Arthur’s shared destiny was most certainly had magic like himself. The way his magic had gone haywire, the pull Arthur had felt, the child’s own inquisitive and thrills from within the womb toward their father was only explicable by _sorcery_. 

Having a child born of magic was one thing.

How would Arthur feel having a _magical_  heir?

“Where are you going? Ealdor is that way.” Merlin pointed at the opposite direction, craning his neck to look at Arthur once more.

“We’re heading back to Camelot.” Arthur fixated on the trail ahead. “I’m sorry but I need you to be safe and you’ll be safest under Gaius’ watchful eyes.”

“Uther will have me _hanged_ the moment he finds out I’m carrying his precious Crown Prince’s bastard child!” Merlin shouted, struggling on the horse to get down. “A child that is conceived with _magic_! He’ll kill this baby!”

The stallion whinnied, stomping hard on the ground in agitation and Arthur grappled to control it. “Merlin!”

Merlin gripped Arthur’s arm, restless. “I can’t go back to Camelot, Arthur. We can’t.”

Arthur forcefully pulled the leash and it succeeded schooling the horse. He climbed down the stallion easily once it had calmed and carefully heaving Merlin down afterward. The horse needed a break and so did him and Merlin. “It’s more dangerous to be outside of Camelot in your condition, Merlin. You’ll be giving birth any time now and we need Gaius’ expertise to aid you. I’ll protect you from my father. I’ll protect you both.”

Merlin shook his head. “No, Arthur. It’s too risky. Your father’s hatred toward magic is abysmal and I won’t endanger our baby’s life. That’s the reason why I left Camelot in the first place. Please try to understand.”

“Ealdor is a small village! There’s nobody there that can help you if something goes wrong!” Arthur was frantic.

“I’ll have my mother with me…and you. That’s all that matters.” Merlin took Arthur’s hand in his, soothing the man he loved. He didn’t tell Arthur the real reason why they needed to go to Ealdor for the same reason he had to hide his inevitable fate after their baby was born. Arthur would need someone to comfort him and their child would need someone to take care of them and to love them when he was gone.

He was allowed to be selfish one last time, wasn’t he?

“What matters is for you to be alive and well!” Arthur remained stubborn.

“Arh!” Merlin let out a pitiful cry all of a sudden, clutching onto Arthur’s arms like a lifeline.

“Merlin!” Arthur cradled Merlin securely when the dark-haired man’s legs gave out under him. “Merlin, look at me! I’m sorry I yell, I’m so sorry.”

Merlin tried but his vision was blackening. “I think…I think it’s time.”

“What? It’s too _early_!” Arthur pressed his hand against Merlin’s stomach as if he could keep the baby in.

“There’s a knife in my bag.” Merlin wheezed. “You need…you need to cut me open, Arthur.”

Arthur was rendered speechless. “M-Merlin…”

“Arthur…don’t let anything happen to the child.” Merlin could feel himself fading  in time with his sluggish heartbeats. “Love…him…”

“Ah, is it time?” A different voice penetrated the eerie, chaotic air, causing Arthur to become tense and rigid instantly. Cold sweat trickled down his skin.  

“I haven’t missed anything, have I?” Morgana appeared from behind the trees, grinning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To create a life, another life must be taken 😭
> 
> What do you think will happen next? Is Merlin going to perish? What will Arthur do? What is Morgana gonna do with the baby? 😔


	15. No sense of loyalty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta’d 
> 
> WARNING: GRAPHIC BIRTH

“Do _not_ come closer.” Arthur warned, pointing his sword directly at Morgana while desperately clutching Merlin’s body close to him.

“What are you going to do, dear brother?” Morgana taunted, circling Arthur and the unconscious Merlin like a predator. “That sword of yours can’t harm me. You can try to hurt me but you won’t succeed.”

Arthur gritted his teeth, knowing the truth behind Morgana’s words. Morgana was a sorceress, and a very powerful one. There was no way he could defeat her by using physical force alone. He only had his loyal sword and a small dagger. He didn’t even wear his chainmail and armor, just in his blue tunic and leather jacket. Just a swipe of her hand and all would be gone and he couldn’t take his chances, not when Merlin and their unborn child’s lives were in danger.

“Just leave us alone, Morgana.” Excalibur was held firmly in Arthur’s hand.

“And _why_ would I do that? I have you both right here where I want you to be.” Morgana raised her hand and Arthur was flung to the nearest tree. She dropped down next to Merlin, inspecting him with such a reverent awe.

“ _Morgana_.” Arthur warned, clutching the side of his head where it had hit a tree.

“You’re not alone in having waited for this moment.” Morgana grinned, retrieving a dagger from her cloak, the one Arthur had gifted her all those years ago.

“Morgana, stop!” Arthur screamed, forcing his body to move as Morgana swiftly plunged the dagger into Merlin’s flesh but all he managed to do was to be on his knees before his sister. “No!”

“And not a moment too soon.” Morgana began to slice up the warm flesh.

“Stop!” Arthur watched in despair as Morgana began cutting Merlin open. Merlin didn’t even flinch from the assault, haunting him even more. The man he loved just laid there, pale like death and unmoving. “Stop it…”

“Is that a _beg_ I hear, dear brother?” Morgana glanced at Arthur for a second even as she was butchering Merlin like an animal, like a piece of meat. There was so much blood, Arthur could hardly see anything.

“Morgana, _please_ …” Arthur was openly pleading. He would gladly stomp down his pride if it meant to save Merlin from Morgana’s torture. “Please leave Merlin alone, leave us be.”

“I have waited many, _many_ years for this moment…” Morgana beamed, eyes glowed brilliant gold and in split second, all the blood was gone. She began slicing some kind of sheath inside of Merlin and immediately a head full of hair was seen. “A moment where Arthur Pendragon on his knees, begging for mercy.”

Morgana dipped inside of Merlin and hauled the baby out roughly and gracelessly. The rush of cold air must have startled the child and the newborn promptly emitted a loud wail mere seconds after it was born. Disregarding the wail, Morgana began to cut the umbilical cord connecting the creature to Merlin with the same dagger before scrutinizing the child like it was some sort of a prize.

“Congratulations, Arthur Pendragon.” Morgana beamed wickedly. “You have a son.” 

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

“You got what you came for…” Arthur croaked, still kneeling on the ground, unable to move from Morgana’s spell. “Now heal him.” 

“Don’t you want to see your son first?” Morgana said in such sweet tone. The still wailing newborn was wrapped in her dark cloak. “He looks like you. Or dare I say he looks more like Ygraine?”

“Heal him!” Arthur’s eyes were only focused on Merlin. Merlin, whose eyes remained shut, Merlin who was still unconscious, Merlin whose flesh was still gaping open.

“And why would I do that?” Morgana gawped at Arthur. “Why should I grant you anything?”

“What wrong have I done you?!” Arthur screamed, voice broken, as broken as his heart.

“Your mere _existence_ is my bane!” Morgana’s composed attitude vanished.

“Kill _me_ then!” Arthur roared. “Kill me and be done with it!”

“Oh, I don't simply wish to kill you and take your place.” Morgana’s wicked smile return. “I'm going to strip you of your pride and your dignity and take from you your very heart and soul.”

“I have taken Camelot from you once and I’ll do it again. I'll destroy all that you have left to care about in this world.” Morgana began to rock the crying newborn in her arm, who began to calm down a bit. “I’ll start with your young son and make my move toward our beloved father. You will have _nothing_ left and I will be merciful in granting you death.”

Arthur fought against the invisible restrain. “Your vengeance is with _me_ , not the child and certainly not with Merlin! Heal Merlin, let him live! He has no part in your revenge!”

Morgana looked at Arthur straight in the eye, frowning. “Morgause was right. You’re oddly fond of the boy.” 

“He’s my manservant, and a loyal friend!” Arthur gritted his teeth as another attempt to be freed from Morgana’s spell failed. “I don’t expect you to understand, Morgana. Unlike Merlin, you have no sense of duty, no sense of loyalty.”

“He’s just a _servant_ , nothing more!” Morgana spat. “Yet, time and again, you’ve proved yourself willing to lay down your life for him. There’s something else…” 

“You two are too close to be just a master and a servant, too affectionate toward one another for him to be just your bedwarmer. You didn’t simply bed him because of lust, no, not because you need release…” Morgana calculated, a grin started to form on her lips again. “You _love_ him, don’t you? You’re in love with your own manservant!”

“Yes, I do! I love Merlin!” Arthur confessed on top of his lungs. “And I won’t forgive you if let him—”

“Oh, the curse I’ve put on the both of you are not for nothing after all!” Morgana shrieked happily, ignoring Arthur. She stared at the baby in her arms, her wicked grin widened. “This child is made with magic… _and_ love. He could be useful. Very useful, indeed.”

“Heal him!” Arthur thundered, pushing against the barrier of magic once more with all of his might. Morgana’s spell crumbled this time around and he was easily freed from her magical restrain. He immediately seized his chance, retrieving his sword from the ground and began to face his sister. “Heal. Him.”

Morgana was evidently taken aback but she didn’t move. She didn’t even seem threatened by Arthur who was now standing in front her, with his sword back in his hand, pointing at her but away from the child. “My sister told me everything before she died. You were born of magic, that wasn’t a lie. Your mother died giving birth to you because magic always comes with a price. And now you’re going to lose your beloved Merlin the same way Uther had lost Ygraine. A life, for a life.”

With his sword still directing at Morgana, Arthur shook his head stubbornly. “I won’t lose Merlin because of you. I won’t let that happen.”

Morgana laughed, loud and coarse. “Oh, Arthur…you’re so naïve! There’s _nothing_ I can do for him. Merlin is doomed the moment your seed planted in his womb.”

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

A piercing cry of the newborn erupted in the forest and a strength, a feeling of rage came over Arthur. In that moment of realization, Arthur wanted nothing more than to snatch up his son and take him as far away from Morgana as he possibly could. He wanted to hold him close to his chest and feel the warmth of his tiny body, to know that he was real and to tell his son that everything was alright and safe. He wasn’t going to lose Merlin and he wasn’t going to lose his son to Morgana either. “Give the child to me!”

“I don’t think I will.” Morgana smirked evilly. “You’ve taken everything from me and now it’s my time to take what’s yours.”

“Give me my son!” Terror gripped Arthur in such a way that it never had before as Morgana stroked the pointed tip of a dagger lightly across the baby's skin, never pressing hard enough to draw blood. It was the same dagger that had been used to take the child’s out just moments prior.

“You might be his father but this boy is _mine_.” Morgana chuckled darkly. “His future with me has already been planned ahead of time.”

“You’re not going to take him away from me!” Arthur lunged at Morgana and knocked into her, adeptly pulling the baby out of her arms.

“ _Arthur_!” Morgana screeched, easily regaining her balance, before whispering something in a hiss and Arthur was flung back off of his feet.

Morgana’s blast of magic hit Arthur in his side, knocking him down hard against a tree. Arthur blinked rapidly, trying to clear the blurriness in his vision. His head was pounding and he was very aware of the blood that was matted in his hair on the back of his head. His left side ached fiercely and he was pretty sure several of his ribs were broken. His vision cleared just in time to see Morgana’s ready to strike again. He rolled out of the way just in time, a cry of pain escaping his lips as he put pressure on his broken ribs.

“I’m going to _kill_ you and take the child with me.” Morgana gloated, approaching the fallen prince. “And there's nothing you can do to stop me, Arthur.”

This was it, Arthur realized. He would die with Merlin just a few feet away from him, with their child in his arms, without ever giving the boy a name. He would die and there would be no one to protect this tiny life. He held his wailing son close to his chest, in a vain effort to shield him from whatever might come their way.

“I’ve won, Arthur.” Morgana grabbed Arthur, slamming the dagger into his stomach. “I’ll use your own son to destroy Camelot, to expunge the Pendragon legacy for good.”

Arthur let out a grunt of pain as his eyes met Morgana’s, looked down at the dagger and back up at Morgana, shock paralyzing his body. He would willingly sacrifice his own life and would relish it, if it meant that his son could live. But his death would not save his son's life. With Morgana as a guardian, he couldn’t imagine what would become of his son’s future.

“If I were to die…I’m going take you with me.” In once swift movement Arthur plunged his sword into Morgana’s side.

“No!” Morgana screamed as pure agony tore through her body. She stared incredulously at her bleeding wound as she fell to the cold, hard ground. “H-How…” 

“A life for a life.” Arthur said ultimately just as Morgana closed her eyes.

Arthur stumbled forward before falling onto his knees next to Merlin’s still body and reached for him, shifting his manservant’s body to rest his head on his lap. His grip on his son grew weaker and his breaths became fainter. He was choking on his own blood, struggling to breathe. One of his broken ribs must have punctured his lung and he was already bleeding out from the gash on his stomach.

Arthur squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and then pressed a soft kiss to the top of the baby's head. The child continued to cry as if he knew what was happening. “I'm sorry.”

There was no doubt he was dying but he felt an unadulterated happiness knowing at least the three of them were together now.

Head lolling, eyelids fluttered, Arthur Pendragon let darkness pull him under.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s a boy! Camelot has a new prince! :D
> 
> Is there anything you’d like to read next? :D
> 
> But oh no, are Merlin and Arthur going to be alright? :(
> 
> Are there people still reading this fic? Lack of feedback stunted my muse and will to write :(


	16. Stay with me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd 
> 
> Thanks for patiently waiting :D

There was a whisper in the gust. “Emrys.”

It gave a harsh breeze. “Emrys…”

“ _Merlin!_ ” The wind howled.

Merlin gasped, sucking in deep, heavy breaths as if he had been drowning. The first thing that stirred his awareness was the feeling of deep pressure and how much his body ached and sore. Pain and fatigue made him feel as if he was moving underwater. His eyelids felt heavy and it was a burden just to pry them open. Slowly but surely he gingerly blinked until the fuzzy edges started to sharpen and no longer one massed blur. 

Only then he felt the pelting of rain on his face. 

And there was a loud, _persistent_ wail near him.  

Merlin craned his neck in search for the sound, still too exhausted to move and almost instantly his gaze landed on Arthur who was only right next to him, slumped against a tree and the sight immediately brought him back to the present. Ignoring his weakened body, he pulled himself upwards and scrambled to his feet to properly look at his beloved, sluggishly grasping he had been lying on Arthur’s lap all along as memories flooded his consciousness. 

He remembered the pain.

He remembered Arthur’s panic face.

He remembered… _Morgana_.

“Arthur!” Merlin grunted as he kneeled in front of the prince. Arthur’s hair was wet from both rain and sweat and flat against his skull. His face pale and the skin under his eyes dark. In his arm was a small bundle, enveloped poorly in his leather jacket.

“Oh.” Merlin gulped, struck by the sight of the drenched, tiny, red-faced, wailing baby. His hands immediately went to his slightly less protruding belly and he knew without a doubt that the baby was his.  
   
He had given birth to his and Arthur’s child. 

He had a _son_.

Lightning hit, thunder boomed angrily above and the rain poured heavier upon them, and reality instantly set in. Without further ado Merlin shrugged off the ill-fitted tunic he was wearing. There was no time for him to allow his brain to grasp everything in, to be shocked, to be pulled under the clemency of disbelief. He took the child from Arthur’s lax arms and wrapped him with the tunic, thoroughly covering his cold, tiny body. 

“Arthur!” Merlin bellowed over the heavy rain, shaking Arthur next once he had swathed his son securely against him. The baby was still crying but there was nothing much he could do at the moment. He needed to check on Arthur first who hadn’t moved at all. Who didn’t even seem _breathing_. 

“Please…” Merlin searched for a pulse all the while gawping at Arthur’s blue tunic which was soiled by blood in horror. He tried to gauge on the wounds, figuring out what kind of spell that would be best to heal the prince. “Please stay with me, Arthur.” 

“Arthur…” Merlin pleaded, feeling the frail pulsation against his fingers. “Arthur, try to open your eyes for me.”

Merlin felt a twitch and he moved his hand from Arthur’s neck to the prince’s face, cupping it tenderly as an encouragement. Arthur struggled to open his eyes but the determination was there. And just seconds later he was met with Arthur’s blue eyes. “Arthur…” 

Arthur seemed confused at first but when he recognized it was Merlin in front him, he simply smiled. “Mer…lin…” 

“I’m right here, Arthur.” Merlin sobbed.

“You’re…you’re a-alive…” Arthur was wheezing but he was still smiling albeit faintly. 

“And you’ve…you’ve met o-our…child…” Arthur warily touched the bundle in Merlin’s grasp. His breathing was nothing more than shallow, hitching pants. 

“We have a son.” Merlin’s face was the epitome of misery and heartbreak. Tears rolled down his face in streams of sorrow and he tried hard to make his sniffles inaudible yet still Arthur heard, even over the cries of their child. 

“My…very own…family…” A single tear fell from Arthur’s eyes as he weakly squeezed Merlin’s hand. 

“You’re going to be alright.” Merlin vowed with conviction but Arthur slightly shook his head. He could read the desperation in Arthur’s eyes and noticed the hopeful spark in his eyes were fading away. 

Arthur was giving up.

“Don’t you _dare_.” Merlin immediately scolded the prince. 

“I’m…sorry…” Blood bubbled on Arthur’s lips, staining his teeth.

“No!” Merlin wailed, clutching on Arthur like a lifeline.

“I…l-love you, M-Merlin…” The sound of blood and air in Arthur’s lungs echoed hollowly in his chest. His throat gave out rattled gasps and he keened with pain on almost every word.

Lung slowly filling with blood, Arthur Pendragon was drowning on dry land.

“Arthur, no!” Merlin screamed as Arthur’s eyes began to close. “Stay with me! Arthur!” 

Merlin’s eyes glowed gold as he hastily put his hand on Arthur’s wounded stomach, just as Arthur’s blue eyes fluttered shut.

Back in Camelot, a knight collapsed in the middle of the throne room, lifeless.

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

Arthur blinked. The sky was darker than before but it had stopped raining. “Merlin.” 

Merlin who was resting against the opposite tree gently clutched his son and went to Arthur. “How are you feeling?” 

Arthur tried to move but the pain was too much. “Ah, my side…my side.”

Merlin glanced at the wound, worried. “You’re bleeding again. I need to stop the bleeding.” 

“That’s all right.” Arthur glanced at the wound as well. The wound was bleeding profusely but he didn’t feel as bad as before. “It’s just a wound…nothing I haven’t had before. But I was quite sure I was dying.” 

“You were. Dying.” Merlin looked solemn. “But I healed you. You should be healing.”

“You _healed_ me?” Arthur chuckled lightly and abruptly stopped when his side throbbed. “Merlin, you’re not a physician. Yes, you’re Gaius’ apprentice but there’s no way your skill—”  

“It was me.” Merlin gripped Arthur’s wrist as he cried. “I used magic to save you.”

Arthur’s expression changed. “Don’t be ridiculous, Merlin.” 

“I’m a sorcerer. I have magic.” Merlin admitted. His face stricken as he tightened his grip on Arthur. “And I use it for you, Arthur. _Only_ for you.” 

“Merlin, you’re not a sorcerer!” Arthur seized the front of Merlin’s tunic in frustration but still mind of the sleeping baby the other man was holding. “Everyone who has magic is pure evil and you’re _not_ evil!” 

“Look. Here.” Merlin raised his hand toward the fire started to incant. It was shaking uncomfortably but it needed to be done. He needed to show Arthur his secret. He needed to do it to save him. Arthur was going to need his magic to fully heal.

Arthur visibly flinch as a dragon form was conjured from the fire, made by Merlin’s magic. “Give me my son.” 

Merlin’s heart stopped beating. “Arthur?” 

Arthur was breathing hard. “Give me my son. Do _not_ make me ask again.” 

“Arthur, he’s feeding. He’s hungry.” Merlin tried to reason as their child continued latching on his nipple, nursing. 

“ _I’ll_ decide what’s best for _my_ son.” Arthur remained stubborn.

“He needs to be fed until he’s full.” Merlin tried again. 

“Alright, I’ll allow this for my son’s sake.” Arthur gritted his teeth. “But it doesn’t change anything.”

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

“You lied to me all this time. I thought I knew you.” Arthur draped an arm securely around the sleeping baby on his chest as he watched Merlin every movement like a hawk.

“I’m still the same person.” Merlin longingly gazed at his sleeping, contented child. The moment his son had done feeding, tummy full of milk, Arthur had snatched him away and he had been looking from far since, forbidden to be close to his loved ones.

“I trusted you.” Arthur seethed. 

“I’m sorry.” It was all Merlin could offer. 

“Are you an ally of Morgana?” Arthur was not finished asking. “Did you enchant me to fall in love with you? Did you let yourself to be impregnated by me on purpose? Was this your plan all along? To give birth to Camelot’s heir only to watch the citadel fall later on? Was it some sort of revenge on me?” 

“You really think I’m capable of betraying you like that?” Merlin’s voice was small, hurt.

“You already betrayed me, _sorcerer_.” Arthur spat.

Merlin got up and walked toward the fire. He picked up the heated leaves and walked back toward Arthur. “Take off the blanket.”

Arthur recoiled from Merlin’s touch. “What are you doing? I told you to stay away from us.”  

“I need to check on your wound.” Merlin answered. He knew Arthur would be reacted badly but he didn’t regret revealing it. At least now he could openly treat the man he loved.

“Why are you doing this?” Arthur frowned as Merlin began to remedy his injuries. “Why are you still behaving like a servant?”

“It’s my destiny. As it has been since the day we met.” Merlin spattered the salve all over the healing gashes. Once in a while his touches lingered on the sleeping child, a cure for his own sanity.

Arthur involuntarily grinned at the memory. “I tried to take your head off with a mace.” 

Merlin smiled softly in return. “And I stopped you, using magic.” 

Arthur’s appearance darkened. “You cheated!” 

Merlin shrugged nonchalantly. “You were going to kill me.” 

“I should’ve.” Arthur huffed.

“I’m glad you didn’t.” Merlin became glum once more, quietly finishing his treatment. 

“Why did you never tell me?” Arthur asked after a while.

Merlin swallowed the lump in his throat. “I wanted to but…”

Arthur peeked at Merlin from over their son’s head. “What?” 

Merlin sighed. “You’d chopped my head off.” 

“I’m not sure what I would’ve done.” Arthur confessed, staring at Merlin. 

“And I didn’t want to put you in that position.” Merlin gently wrapped the blanket back around Arthur.

“That’s what worried you?” Arthur seemed taken aback.

“Some men are born to plow fields, some live to be great physicians, others to be great princes and kings. Me, I was born to _serve_ you, Arthur.” Merlin reached out for Arthur’s hand. “I’m proud of that and I won’t change a thing. I do this because of who you are. Without you Camelot is nothing. There will never be another like you, Arthur.”

“All these years, Merlin…” Arthur intertwined their fingers together. “You never once sought any credit.” 

“It’s not why I do it. I do this…because I love you.” Merlin said softly. “And I don’t want to lose you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Arthur's reaction to Merlin's magic warranted? :D 
> 
> Wanna suggest a name for the newborn prince Pendragon? :D
> 
> Thanks again for reading! Would love to hear feedbacks as always! :D


	17. Forever indebted to you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd
> 
> Thanks for the name suggestions!

“Merlin, you _idiot_!” Arthur dashed towards Merlin, who was wincing in pain, struggling to pull himself up of the small cot. From the look of it, it wasn’t his first try. “I told you to let me know when you need help.” 

Merlin huffed but still allowed Arthur to help him. “I’m fine.” 

Arthur rolled his eyes at the obvious dishonest proclamation. Merlin was clearly _far_ from fine. His heavy breathing was the proof. “You’ve just given birth barely a week ago, don’t push yourself too hard.” 

“You’d be _dead_ if I didn’t push myself like the way I did.” Merlin sent Arthur a scowl even as he leaned against Arthur for support. 

“And I’m forever indebted to you for saving my life.” Arthur carefully took his child from Merlin’s feeble grasp. His boy was sleeping contentedly, tummy most definitely full. Merlin however looked pale. He knew Merlin would not drop their son, not intentionally anyway, but he couldn’t take his chances. He could never be too sure about his manservant’s ability. The man had a history of being the clumsiest person in Camelot after all. 

“I know you think you’re invisible, _untouchable_ even because you have magic but you’re not, Merlin.” Arthur lifted his eyes off his sleeping child to look at Merlin. “Yes, your magic had helped replenishing your strength right after the birth to heal yourself and me and taking care of me and our son while I was recovering afterwards but you need to take a good care of yourself too. I’m fine now and our child is safe. Your body needs to rejuvenate. Take it easy, would you?”

Arthur fussed over Merlin, throwing a blanket over Merlin’s shoulder. He didn’t know that it was possible for him to accept magic, talking about it so freely like this. Magic had cost his mother her life, magic had fueled his father’s hatred, and magic had been the cause of Morgana’s treachery. But sorcery had also been used for good. He had witnessed it plenty of times. The druids had saved Sir Leon’s life, illnesses had been cured, cursed lands were restored back to their glory and most of all, it had protected Camelot.

And Merlin…

Merlin had opened his eyes that there was no evil in sorcery, only in the hearts of men. He didn’t know how he could ever doubt Merlin before. Merlin had been loyal to him since the beginning. They had a rocky start but it was soon developed into a brilliant friendship and then blossomed into an amazing relationship. Merlin had saved him countless of times, Merlin had sacrificed _a lot_ for his sake, for Camelot.

Merlin also had given him his beautiful son. 

“ _Fine_.” Merlin answered with a whine like a petulant child. “Next time you’re wounded, I’ll just leave you there to die, Arthur Pendragon.” 

Arthur chuckled lightly, gazing down at his son again. Barely a week old and the child had kept him captivated ever since he was born. He held the tiny person close to his heart. “I’m grateful for this small miracle. Thank you, Merlin…for giving me him, for bearing my heir.”

Merlin rested his head on Arthur’s shoulder, watching their son as well. “It’s not for free, you know? I expect to be rewarded with quarter of Camelot’s lands and half of your riches.” 

“Oh, really?” Arthur narrowed his eyes. “So, your love confession back in the wood was all lies then?” 

“It’s such a hassle to be in love with you, do you know that?” Merlin exaggeratedly let out a deep sigh. “I’m entitled of all the things you own because I unfortunately and stupidly love you.” 

“I love you too, idiot.” Arthur planted a soft kiss on top of Merlin’s head. “In fact, I caught a couple of rabbits again today for you.”  

“Ugh, rabbits again, Arthur?” Merlin grumbled. “I want pheasants.” 

“The villagers were looking at me oddly earlier when I came back with the rabbits. Do the people here don’t know how to hunt at all? Just farming and managing livestock?” Arthur looked out at the open window, inspecting the surroundings of the small, serene village. “Ealdor is a weird place with weird people.” 

“Hey, I’m a native here too.” Merlin lifted his head up to glare at Arthur. 

“Exactly my point.” Arthur replied with a grin. 

“You’re the Crown Price of Camelot, Arthur. And yet you went out every morning hunting rabbits and went to search for firewood every evening for your manservant while I leisurely stayed in this hut all day long doing nothing.” Merlin explained. “Also, we came here with a newborn baby with us. A baby we told them was mine when he looks _nothing_ like me and more like you, of course people will talk.”

“It’s a bizarre thing to see someone else wearing my face.” Arthur was wholly invested on his infant son once more, no longer interested in the lives of the villagers. 

“I had never seen a baby with such beautiful hair, or so much of it.” Merlin commented, as the morning sunlight shone on the baby’s hair, the golden wisps that framed his face. “I wonder…is this what you had looked like as a child, Arthur?” 

“I don’t know. My father rarely talked about my childhood. It must have been too painful for him.” Arthur turned to become face to face with Merlin and took him into his arm. Their son was gently squished in between them without causing any harm to the boy. “God, you’re making it harder for me to leave the both of you here, Merlin.”

“Just for a little while.” Merlin buried his face against Arthur’s neck. “We’ll come back to you.” 

“Please, come with me. Morgana is out there, somewhere. If both you and I could survive, so could she.” Arthur begged. “I’ll hide you where Father will never find you. The citadel is a very big place. I know several places where I had hidden from my nursemaids when I was younger and—”

“Arthur…” Merlin shook his head, placing a hand on Arthur’s chest, right above his heart. 

“Alright…” Arthur sighed in defeat, affectionately placing his forehead against Merlin’s. “But before I leave, there’s something I want to do.” 

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

“I _didn’t_ go searching for Merlin.” Arthur said firmly. The lie easily escaped his lips for the second time. There was no guilt for the untruth as he uttered it directly to the king.   
   
“You were gone for over a month! There isn’t any other answer for your utterly reckless behavior!” Uther spat, face red with rage. “You are Camelot’s Crown Prince, Arthur! You can’t simply _run away_ whenever you like! You are not a child anymore! There isn’t Sir Bors or Sir Kay to look out for you!” 

“I was _never_ a child to begin with. I didn’t get a chance to _be_ one.” Arthur hissed, deviating from the main reason behind the summit. He was angry. _Furious_ even. It had been a dreadfully hard choice for him to leave Merlin and their son in Ealdor while he returned to Camelot alone. He had woken up alone, without Merlin’s face next to him or the lovely cries of his son that morning and it was enough to sour his mood. To be summoned by his father early that morning just to be talked like a child caused all of his pent up anger to heighten. All of his father’s wrongs, the man’s faults as a father emerged like a tidal wave, taunting his heart. There were the things he didn’t care about previously but now, it was as though he finally saw everything in a new light.

“All you ever cared about was me perfecting my sword skills, whether I could handle a mace or was my aim with the crossbow up to your standard. I was lucky to have Sir Bors and Sir Kay when I was a child. They were more of a father to me than you ever did.” Arthur said, seething. 

“They are the beneficial traits that every knight should have. Every knight should know how to use all of his arms.” Uther countered, incapable to see his fault or Arthur’s conflicts. 

Arthur bristled. “I was a _child_ , barely three winters of age and you thought it was important for me to learn all that?!”   

Uther scowled. “You are my son, it was necessary lessons for my kingdom’s Crown Prince.” 

“Was that all that mattered to you?! I grew up without a mother, and you, Father…you ignored me my entire childhood life. I only saw you during feasts or during my birth anniversaries, but no more than that.” Arthur said, missing his family dearly. Once he had his family back, he swore he wouldn’t be the absent father like Uther was to his son. “I only had nursemaids and maidservants to keep me company. Other children were not even allowed to play with me because I’m a prince.”

“I had a kingdom to rule.” Uther said indifferently. “My responsibilities and loyalties were _and_ still are to this land. It’s an honor and a noble thing to do. A child simply didn’t fit in.”

“You were the one who wanted an heir! My mother sacrificed her life to bear you a son!” Arthur barked, beyond angry. He knew his mother didn’t give her life just for her son to be abandoned. Uther’s view on sorcery had cost so many lives. It had also the reason why Merlin and their child weren’t here with him. Merlin was too terrified to return to Camelot where he belonged because of Uther. “Or was it because I was born with magic, Father? Did you hate the sight of me, this awful human being born from the help of a filthy sorceress to be the loving father I deserved?!” 

“This is what this all about?” Uther became furious instantly, finally grasped the reason behind Arthur’s behavior. “Who did you meet while you were out of Camelot? Morgause again? I told you she was lying. You’d still believe her lies over the word of your own father?” 

“I met Morgana.” Arthur straightforwardly answered and he didn’t miss the way his father stiffened at the mention of her name. “She told me what a liar you truly are and I believed her.”

_I believed Merlin._

_I believed in my son’s magical birth._  

It was all Arthur wanted to say. Weeks spent with Merlin in that cave was his wake-up call and it was the best experience he ever had. It trump the times they spent in disguise as a mere master and manservant, their weekly quests, and even their monthly trip to the neighboring kingdoms. Because back in the cave, he and Merlin were all alone and Merlin was free to be himself without the dreadful notion that might be hanged or burned alive if his true nature were to be discovered while they were within Camelot’s walls.  

“After all the lies you told me, I don’t think I could ever trust you again, Father.” Arthur tried to level his voice but he knew he was going to lose it eventually. “You always speak of honor and nobility, responsibility and respect…so why don’t you tell me the truth for this once?! I knew _everything_! You betrayed my faith in you, you betrayed the trust my mother had given you for your own selfish reasons! You _are_ a hypocrite and a liar!” 

“I maybe your father but I am still your _king_!” Uther roared.

“I can’t change the fact that I share your blood.” Arthur was seething. “But know this, Father…I am _ashamed_ to be your son.” 

“Guards!” Uther shouted, glaring at the equally fuming prince as two of the guards hastily came through the door. “Escort the prince to his chambers. He is to be confined there until I tell you otherwise. Don’t get him out of your sight. The Crown Prince of Camelot isn’t allowed to leave the citadel.”

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

“Merlin, you were supposed to be here _a month_ ago!” Arthur flicked Merlin’s forehead with his fingers. “It had been two months! Did you hit your head and forgot how to count the days?”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “Oh, my head is still functioning well, thank you.” 

Arthur narrowed his eyes in return. Even though Merlin had written to him regularly to keep him posted, every single day of wait was pure hell since the idiot refused to mention the reason of the delay. It took all of his willpower not to march to Ealdor and snatched his family. Uther would be furious and he himself would be insane if he was to be confined in his chambers without doing anything productive for weeks again. “So why did you wait two goddamn months to be here?!” 

“I uh…um…I need time…to prepare.” A blush creeped up Merlin’s face. 

“On what?” Arthur crossed his arms, disgruntled. Merlin was lucky it was still broad daylight outside or else he would be yelling louder than he already was to openly express his frustration. Camelot walls were thick, but no thick enough to hushed his voice. “All you need to do, is come here…with my son in tow. I told you not to bring anything else. I’ll provide brand new clothes for you and our son.” 

“I…um…I was scared…to leave my mother.” Merlin’s face became redder. 

“You let me wait…for an additional month…because you were _scared_?” Arthur gawped at Merlin incredulously. 

“I’ve never been a father before, Arthur! I was unsure whether I could take care of a baby on my own! Nobody had ever relied _solely_ on me!” Merlin explained frantically. “Except you, of course. Who always demanded my attention like an infant.” 

Ignoring Merlin’s last words, Arthur huffed. “In case you’ve forgotten…this is my first time too, _Mer_ lin. I’ve never been anyone’s father either.” 

Merlin shrugged and adjusted the sling made from blanket to his front, where a wide-awake young Pendragon prince was comfortably nesting. “Considering your reputation, you might have other bastard children that I don’t know about.” 

“My son is not a bastard.” Arthur said wistfully as he gazed down at his son. “Oh, I’ve missed you!”

“Just the son?” Merlin leaned forward. 

“Look at you! You’re getting bigger! Last time I saw you, you were tiny and you slept a lot!” Arthur gushed at his son, snubbing Merlin. He tweaked the infant’s chubby cheeks, expecting a smile but all he got was a judging stare. “Why is he staring at me like that? Merlin? Why is my son looks at me disapprovingly?” 

“Maybe he could see his old man is a prat.” Merlin answered with a scowl. “See, I already told you since your were still in my womb that your father is a prat but you kept adoring him. Now you see the man he truly is. A prat and a clotpole at best.” 

“Stop teaching him nonsense, Merlin.” Arthur put his hands on the child’s ears in an attempt to block Merlin’s words.  

“I wouldn’t need to teach him anything. He already knows everything that needs to know. You’re a clotpole for example.” Merlin enthused, taking the sling off and gently pulled his son out of it. The child’s thick, golden hair framed his face handsomely, bright blue eyes wide as he looked around with interest. “We’re no longer in Ealdor, my son. We’re in Camelot, with your Father. This is where you’ll grow up and I promise to give you the best life here.” 

“I won’t let anything happen to you.” Arthur took the baby from Merlin and kissed the top of his son’s head. The child’s curious gaze then settled on him for a moment, as if contemplating who Arthur was before rewarding the eager father with a smile. “Welcome home, Prince Askandar of Camelot.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of the name? I chose it for its uniqueness and to me it fits the medieval timeline :D 
> 
> Do you think Uther should find out about the baby soon or just let the boys be happy first? :D


	18. This is Askandar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd

“Gwen…” Merlin felt like screaming at the unfairness of the world. 

“It’s _not_ your fault.” Gwen pressed on. “What happened to Elyan…it was out of your control, Merlin. You couldn’t possibly know.” 

“To create a life, another life must be taken…that’s what the Old Religion demanded. Our son and I survived the birth, and I healed Arthur.” Merlin sobbed, gripping Arthur’s hand tightly. “And Morgana was probably alive too. And…and now Elyan—”

“You’re not to blame.” Gwen wiped the tears off Merlin’s face with her thumb. “Merlin, stop this. I had made peace with it and so should you. He’s in a better place now.” 

Merlin whimpered but then there was an unmistakable sniffle coming from somewhere else and Arthur gave Merlin’s shoulder a light squeeze before retreating to Merlin’s room. Mere seconds later he returned, carrying a squirming bundle in his arms. The blanket covering the figure was in deep, bright red, similar to Arthur’s own robe. He gave the bundle to Merlin, who took it with utmost care.

“Is this him?” Gwen asked tentatively, peeking inside. 

“Everyone, this is Askandar.” Merlin said as he wiped away the remaining of his tears, showing off the attentive child of his to Gwen and everybody else present in Gaius’ chambers. 

“ _Prince_ Askandar.” Arthur added, as if it was necessary to inform everyone that the baby was also his and that the boy was noble and a royalty. Askandar, upon hearing his Father’s voice looked back at Arthur cheerily, making Arthur smile at him. 

“Here, take him.” Merlin gracefully gave the child back to Arthur. 

“I always knew there’s something extraordinary about you.” Gwaine broke the silent, throwing an arm around Merlin’s neck and pulled him closer. “Only you could’ve done something as magical as this, Merlin.” 

Merlin had told his friends everything. From his and Arthur’s relationship, to Morgana’s spell, and to Askandar’s birth, as well as his magic. Gaius’ chambers had become eerily quiet because of it, more so when he found out about Elyan’s demise. Even though the knights and Gwen had appeared shocked and slightly troubled at first, they hadn’t run away yet and he took it as a good sign. 

“There’s nothing extraordinary about me, Gwaine.” Merlin smiled in return but he didn’t miss the scowl Arthur was throwing at Gwaine. Did something happen between the two of them while he was away? 

“He’s so precious.” Gwen gushed, enraptured by the gurgling baby Pendragon. “May I?” 

“Of course.” With a new profound ability, Arthur graciously transferred Askandar to Gwen’s eager hands and the knights quickly hovered near her just to look at the young prince.

“Does he have a nursemaid yet?” Lancelot asked, tenderly touching Askandar’s soft, golden wisps. “I know a woman who had just given birth if you need one.”

“I um…I uh…I actually able to uh…to nurse him…” Merlin’s face was as red as the tomatoes on the table.

Gwaine’s eyes widened like a saucer. “Wait, you’re telling me…that you have milk in your tiny nubs?”

Merlin bit his lower lip in embarrassment. “Y-Yeah.”

“You’re…lactating.” Leon said flatly, trying to process the new information. 

“Yes, Merlin’s lactating to provide milk in order to feed our son.” Arthur said firmly as he enveloped Merlin in an embrace. “And I think he’s amazing to be able to do that.”

“Uh huh. So, what does it taste like?” Gwaine preened. 

“ _Gwaine_!” Merlin blushed even more.

“It tastes _heavenly_.” Arthur spontaneously answered.

“Arthur?” Gwen paled, Gwaine glowered while the others looked utterly _scandalized_ by the answer especially Gaius, causing Arthur to turn bright red immediately. He had truly forgotten about the others in his ire against Gwaine. 

“I’d say you were lying if I didn’t see this…proof.” Leon gestured toward Askandar.

“It’s expected, really.” Gaius said with the tone of a physician. “Morgana’s spell had given Merlin, a male, the ability to bear a child. It’s only acceptable for him to also be able to nurse the said child.”

“I can’t believe it’s true.” Percival chuckled. “Arthur’s virile seed had really knocked Merlin up.”

“Does this mean he will be calling you _Mother_?” Gwaine asked cheekily, instantaneously brightened at the prospect.

“What _our son_ will be calling Merlin is none of your business.” Arthur snapped out of the blue.

“I have to say, all of you seem unperturbed by this.” Merlin frowned seeing Arthur’s behavior toward Gwaine as he watched the others with his child. Gaius was already looking like a proud grandfather. Percival, Leon and Lancelot had been cooing at Askandar nonstop, and Gwen’s loving eyes had never left the boy’s face. He was beyond relieved Askandar and the nature of his birth had been accepted by his closest friends. People could hate him all they wanted but he would retaliate if Askandar was harmed.

“We actually already knew about you and Arthur.” Leon said. “And your magic as well. So, this isn’t really new news to us…well, except for the child.” 

“You knew?!” It was Arthur who was shrieking. “All of you?” 

“You two aren’t exactly _subtle_ , Sire.” Lancelot was smirking and Merlin had all the thoughts to slap him and rubbed that smirk away, considering the man had known about it all right from the start.

“And Merlin’s magic? How long did you know he’s a sorcerer?” Arthur wasn’t done shrieking. He then glared at Merlin. “How could you tell them before telling me first?” 

Merlin shook his head. “I didn’t.” 

Leon beamed proudly. “We found out on our own, my Lord.” 

“Because none of us are blind like you, Princess.” Gwaine interrupted and the room fell into an eerily silent again. While Arthur and Gwaine were glaring at one another, all the other knights, Gaius and Gwen included looked as if they rather be someplace else, as if this had happened _a lot_ , leaving Merlin confused from where he stood. The only sound present was Askandar’s happy cooing at Gwen’s hair.

“Merlin is actually very bad in hiding his magic…especially when he camped out with us in the forest.” Percival decided to speak, in an attempt to clear the air. “How he could make fire and all even though it was heavily raining the night before.”

“Or the way the horses were all very behaved around him.” Leon added with a grin. 

“I told you to be careful with your magic!” Gaius smacked the back of Merlin’s head, affronted by the fact that the knights knew about Merlin’s ability.

“Ow!” Merlin pouted. “That hurts!” 

“Don’t worry, Merlin.” Gwaine was by Merlin’s side once more, huge smile and bright eyes. “Your secret is safe with us.” 

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

“ _Arthur_ …” Merlin groaned breathlessly. 

“Yes, Merlin.” Arthur moaned as he speeded up his thrusts, nearing his completion. “Say my name.” 

“Arthur!” Merlin grunted and feebly pushed at Arthur. “Arthur, pull out! Pull out!” 

Arthur froze mid-thrust and looking utterly confused. “What’s the matter? Is Askandar awake?” 

Merlin craned his neck to the right where Askandar was napping on a blanket surrounded by mountains of pillow a rather short distance away. Their child was far enough not to be disturbed by his parents’ activities but still close enough to reach if there were any threats nearby. The three-month-old barely did anything other than sleeping. The forest was rather peaceful at this time of the day as it nearing dusk, treetops stark against the shadowy sky, ground cool. Arthur’s loyal stead was also munching happily next to the boy.  

“Merlin?” Arthur prodded gently, still half inside of Merlin. 

“You can’t finish inside me.” Merlin whispered.

“What? Why not?” Arthur whined resembled Askandar when he was hungry. “You always let me finish inside you. Filling you, Merlin...coating your insides with my seed…and feels it dripping out of you…” 

Merlin moaned, affected by Arthur’s words as the prince brushed his fingertips down Merlin’s thighs. He did love the feeling of Arthur’s warm seed in him, how it made him feel so completely full. “But M'rgna…s-spell.”

“Hmm?” Arthur gave a few, slow pushes, mind clouded with lust to grasp Merlin’s mumbled words.  

“Arthur!” Merlin’s eyes snapped open and he pushed at Arthur again when he felt the tell-tale sign that the prince was nearing his release.   

“Ugh…” Arthur grumbled, stopped moving altogether. His face red, skin sweaty and arms achy as he disbelievingly stared at Merlin. “You’ve been back here for over a month now and this is our first time to be intimate like this. Do you have any idea how incredible it _feels_ to be inside you, Merlin? The feeling of you clenching around me so tightly I feel like I could burst anytime?” 

“I’m sorry.” Merlin groaned, palming his face in frustration. Arthur was still hard inside him and it took all of his willpower not to push himself down on his lover’s cock to satisfy them both. “Morgana’s spell…we don’t know whether it’ll still take effect if…you know…” 

“You’re worried you might end up pregnant again.” Arthur breathed, full of understanding. 

“Exactly.” Merlin gave a reluctant nod. “Knowing your stupid, potent seed…there’s a high chance it’ll happen.” 

“Well, if that’s the case...” Arthur shoved his fingers into Merlin’s mouth without discretion. “ _Lick_.”

Merlin’s lustful eyes met Arthur’s and he immediately did as he was told. He sucked on every digit, licking every area with his tongue, making sure to thoroughly wet them. Arthur quickly rearranged Merlin to his liking with a few judicious pushes. He pulled out his cock from Merlin’s hole and immediately replaced it with his fingers, shoving them deep inside his manservant. 

“A-Arthur!” Merlin mewled. 

Arthur was sitting up, stroking himself without finesse as he continuously thrusts his fingers in Merlin and within seconds he came all over Merlin’s front with a low groan while his fingers, still buried inside Merlin, jerked and shuddered with the rest of his body.

Merlin gasped and bucked against Arthur’s fingers and he arched off the ground, pulling Arthur with him as his vision blurred and his ears roared with his rapid heartbeat. He came on his stomach and his chest and his neck and even, somehow in Arthur’s hair. 

A moment passed as Merlin came back to his senses and he opened his eyes again. They stared at one another for long minutes, regulating their breathing. He kissed Arthur’s cheek as the prince nuzzled his neck affectionately. He traced his fingers along Arthur’s back, memorizing every line of Arthur’s face, the way the soft breeze lifted his golden hair from his forehead and stirred it about, the way the prince’s hands rested upon his thighs. 

“Move in with me, to my chambers.” Arthur spoke after a moment of silent. 

“But Askandar…” Merlin began to protest, knowing how difficult it would be for them to keep their child a secret if they lived in the citadel with Arthur.

“I don’t care if anyone finds out, Merlin. I really don’t.” Arthur proclaimed, slowly standing up. “What I do care is having my family by my side, at all times. I already missed a lot of things and I don’t want to miss anything anymore. I want to see my son grows up in front of me. I’m tired of only getting to see the both of you only when the time allows. In between my position as the Crown Prince, the counsels I have to attend and my trainings…my time with you is severely limited.”

“I’m no longer your manservant, Arthur.” Merlin pulled on his breeches and then his tunic efficiently. “I can’t be by your side, serving you all the while taking care of an infant as well. 

“I don’t want you as my manservant, Merlin. I want you as my partner.” Arthur who was already in his breeches numbly played with the ring around Merlin’s neck before the man could hide it underneath his neckerchief. “I’m tired of you sneaking around in the middle of the night to my chambers with Askandar, only to leave before dawn so that nobody sees you. I hate that my son is confined in Gaius’ chambers just because we’re afraid people take one look at him and immediately figures out who he is.” 

“What we want…might not be the best for him at this moment, Arthur.” Merlin began helping Arthur to dress. He pulled on Arthur’s red tunic over his head, smoothened it down and placed a hand on the prince’s heart. “There will be a time when you can shout on top of your lungs to the world that Askandar is actually Prince Askandar Pendragon, Arthur Pendragon’s only son and sole heir.”

**~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~**

“I’m the one who had been _enchanted_ by an evil sorceress. I’m the one who had to _run away_. I’m the one who _carried_ you for months. I’m the one who _suffered_ through a hell of morning sickness. I’m the one who had _ugly scars_ on my tummy. I’m the one who _gave birth_ to you.” Merlin groused while Askandar gurgled happily. The warm water complacent the boy. “And yet you came out looking like your Father? How is that fair?”

“Everyone is saying you’re the splitting image of him, do you know that Askandar?” Merlin dipped a cloth into the water and gently rubbed it on Askandar’s tiny body. “Aunt Gwen and Uncle Leon couldn’t stop spouting _lies_ on how you look just like your Father when he was a child. Yes, there were _lies_ because how can you look like that prat when I’m your father too? I’m your Papa, Askandar…and I demand for you to look like me instead!”

Askandar giggled and shoved a fist into his mouth, chomping on it like some sort of food as he sat inside the miniature version of Arthur’s infamous wooden bath tub. It was more like the size of a pail but Arthur had refused to call it that. His son was a prince and princes didn’t take bath in a goddamn pail.

“And I could see you’re slowly turning into him too.” Merlin complained loudly but Askandar remained composed. He was such a happy child, rarely cried, only did so when he was hungry or his bum was dirty. “ _Peasants_ would go to the nearest stream, bathing in the cold water. _Peasants_ don’t take a warm bath in a tub, in their own private chambers. Ugh, only five-month-old and you’re already a demanding tiny person.”

“I can hear your grievances from across the castle, _Mer_ lin.” Arthur swiftly strode into his chambers, still in his chainmail. He straightforwardly pulled out his scabbard along with his sword and placed it on the table before moving to unbuckle his armor. “What exactly are you babbling about? I hope Askandar’s ears haven’t fall off from all your nonsense jabbering.” 

“Oh, you’re back.” Merlin sat flatly, still elbow deep in water as he bathed their son. Water suddenly splashed outside of the tub when Askandar kicked his feet eagerly, happy to see Arthur had returned and trying to draw his father’s attention. 

“Ugh, Askandar…” Merlin grumbled, observing his wet tunic in disdain.

“Hello, my son.” Arthur effortlessly lifted Askandar from the tub and wrapped him up in his white wool towel. Askandar gurgled loudly in delight, tugging on his father’s identical blonde hair in his tiny grip. 

“Typical.” Merlin rolled his eyes and got up from the floor.

“What did you say?” Arthur’s eyes narrowed threateningly. 

“This is so unfair, Arthur! I spent most of my time with him and yet it’s you who he adored the most!” Merlin howled, pouting. “Is it not enough that he has your stupid golden hair? He has to have your stupid sharp nose, your stupid bright blue eyes, and even your stupid golden skin too!”

Arthur chuckled, amused. “It’s not nice condemning your son child as stupid, Merlin.”

“I’m not condemning him, I’m condemning you!” Merlin glowered at the father and son duo. “Damn _you_ , Arthur Pendragon!” 

“Come on, _Mer_ lin. He has some of your features too. He might be blonde like me but these curls are all you.” Arthur walked toward Merlin, softly caressing Askandar’s curls.

“He has your lips…” Arthur tapped on Askandar’s pink, plump lips, making the boy tittered. 

“And your stunning dimples.” Arthur poked on Askandar’s cheek, drawing out a gleeful laugh from his son.

“Oh, thank you for making me feel like a consolation prize.” Merlin huffed, puckering his lips even more to show his displeasure. “It still doesn’t change the fact that he’s a mini you.” 

“Aw, don’t be like that. For what it’s worth, his ears are definitely you.” Arthur grinned.  

“They’re not!” Merlin objected, fully affronted as he touched Askandar’s ears and depleted when he realized they actually did match his. “Oh, you poor lad.”

While still holding their son, Arthur pulled Merlin into an embrace and kissed the side of his head. “What truly important is that he’s here with us and he’s happy and healthy, isn’t it?” 

“Yes, but…” Merlin sighed. “I’m just irked there’s another _you_ in this castle. You better not turning him into a princely prat like you. I want Askandar to grow up in a humble, simple life.”

“He’s a prince, Merlin. He’s entitled to live like one.” Arthur said contemplatively. “And well, who knows…if it bothers you that much, perhaps we can hope our next one will look like you.”

“Next one?! _What_ next one?! You aren’t planning to impregnate me again, are you?!” Merlin screeched, yanking himself away from Arthur. “Arthur?!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I failed in writing smut, haha! :)
> 
> Should there be more mini Arthurs or maybe a mini Merlin? :)
> 
> Told ya, more feedback from my readers = faster chapter ;)


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